Tainted: Origins of a Psycho

Sunday Morning

I nodded my head, staring down at the ground in embarrassment.  "Yes, sir."

Daddy put his hand under my chin and picked my head up. "You look at the pastor when he is talking to you, boy."

"Yes, sir." I repeated, making sure to look into the pastor's eyes.

The pastor gave me a small nod before turning his attention to Violet. "And don't you look pretty as a picture in your Sunday dress.  I'll bet the boys are lining up around the corner just for a chance to look at you."

Violet smiled and gave him a little twirl.  "Not yet, sir. Daddy says I have to stay away from boys for a long time."

"Your daddy is a wise man."

Daddy laughed and placed his hand on Violet's shoulder.  "That's right.  She's my baby girl and I don't want any boys trying to steal her away from me."

Daddy said hello to a few more people before we made our way into the sanctuary and took our usual seats in the second row.  The pastor opened the service with a prayer and the praise team began to lead us in worship songs.

Usually the music was my favorite part of the service because I could close my eyes and pretend that I was with Jesus for a little while, but for some reason Violet kept nudging me with her elbow during the songs.

I opened my eyes to see what she wanted and she started making funny faces at me. I had to bite my bottom lip to keep from laughing.  If I made any noise during the service Daddy was going to punish me for sure!

I closed my eyes again and tried to ignore her the best I could, but she wouldn't leave me alone. "Cut it out."  I whispered, "You're gonna get us in trouble."

She giggled and made another silly face.  My teeth clenched and I was about to tell her to stop again until the music ended and the pastor stepped on the stage. 

Everyone in the sanctuary took their seats and remained silent as Daddy and another usher passed around the offering plate.  When they were finished they took the plate up front and the pastor started praying over the money. 

I closed my eyes to join in the prayer when Violet kicked my ankle, sending a sharp pain up my leg.  My mouth flew open and I loudly shouted, "Ouch!!  That hurt, Violet!!!!"

The pastor stopped in the middle of his prayer and all eyes were on me.  Mommy stared at me with shock on her face and Daddy looked like he was ready to kill me in front of everyone. 

My cheeks started burning and I looked down at my hands.  They were trembling in my lap.

The pastor stared at me for a moment, then cleared his throat.  "Pardon the interruption, Lord.  Please bless this offering and the ones who provided it.  And everybody said...."

"Amen."  The congregation said in unison.

Daddy set the offering plate down and made his way to our seats.  The vein in his forehead was throbbing again and his eyes burned into mine with pure rage.  He sat down next to me and wrapped his large hand around my wrist.

"Stand up and follow me into the foyer."

"But, Daddy-"

"Keep your fucking mouth shut and do what I tell you or I swear you'll regret it."

My eyes filled with tears as Daddy stood from his seat.  He walked towards the entrance of the sanctuary, smiling and waving at people, until he was out of sight. 

I looked down at my feet as I followed him, trying hard to ignore everyone's stares.  They all knew I was in trouble, but they had no idea how bad Daddy was about to punish me.

Daddy's arms were folded across his chest as he stood there in the foyer.  He made sure no one was around before grabbing my wrist and yanking me into the bathroom. 

My heart started beating so fast it made me feel sick when he locked the door.  He unfastened his belt and ripped it from his pants.  "What the hell is the matter with you, boy?  Are you trying to embarrass your old man?"

"No, sir!"  I cried, "It was Violet's fault!  She wouldn't leave me alone!"

"Your sister ain't the one who made me look like a damn fool during prayer."  He said, "You are an embarrassment to the family."

"I'm sorry, Daddy..."

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be, boy.  Pull your pants down and put your hands against the wall."

"Please don't do this!  I'll do anything!"

"You better stop yelling before someone hears your sorry ass."  He hissed, "Now pull your pants down before I rip them off of you."

"Y-yes, sir."  I sniffled, slowly unbuttoning my pants and pulling them down.  I placed my hands on the wall and held my breath, bracing myself for my whipping.

"Pinch your lips together because if you make a sound I'll wrap this belt around your neck and strangle the life out of you.  You understand?"

I nodded my head and did as I was told.  He raised the belt in the air and brought it down on my bare bottom.  I held in my screams as he did it over and over again until my knees gave out and I collapsed to the floor. 

Daddy sighed and put his belt back on before helping me up.  He kneeled in front of me and placed his hands on my cheeks.  I thought he was going to apologize until he said, "If you ever open your mouth during prayer again I'll kill you.  Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

He ushered me back into the sanctuary and forced me to sit down, keeping his hand clenched around my thigh for the rest of the service.  I could tell Mommy wanted to say something to him, but she remained silent.  It was probably better that she did because if she made him mad he would punish her as well.

Violet was the only one who never got in trouble.  Sometimes I wished that Daddy would catch her doing something wrong and spank the fire out of her.  I know it's not very nice for me to think that way, but I was tired of her getting away with everything just because she was his favorite.  She needed to pay, too.

I glanced over at her to see her sitting there with a big smile on her face.  She leaned her head close to mine and whispered, "You are such a little idiot.  I'm glad you got in trouble."