Between Darkness and Dawn

5.

“I knew you’d love it. As soon as I saw it, I thought of you and how much you’d love to see it.” He revealed, coming up behind her. He pulled her hair over one shoulder and started to kiss her neck tenderly. “I love you so much.” He whispered in her ear.

“Bodgan…” Harmony was shocked by the work he chose to use. Love? Was she ready for that? Since when had he been so serious? She turned to look at him, unsure of whether she did love him or not. Now that he was claiming to have found a special place that she would love, she found that she read a secret meaning behind his words. Just the way he was acting and talking alone convinced that she was right; he had only brought her to such a place because he wanted something from her that she was unwilling to give. How could he be so selfish?

“I know.” He smiled, pressing his finger against her lips. He just stared at her for a minute and then he kissed her so passionately, that Harmony could do nothing else but respond to him. She still felt that there was hope in bringing back the Godfry she liked so much, that it would be too judgemental to give up on him so soon.

 

Godfry had tried so much to please her that Harmony knew the real Godfry was still in there somewhere. They just needed something to happen that would shock him back to his usual self. But that didn’t seem like it was going to happen any time soon. She had kissed him back in the hope of proving to herself that he could kiss her without expecting more, and to prove to him that a kiss, and just a kiss, could be just as special as everything else he seemed to want from her. But already she could feel one of his hands, that had been resting on her waist, suddenly move towards the base of her white shirt. It had been tied just around her midriff and the fact his hand was making it’s way under it gave her a good idea of what he wanted, especially when his other hand slipped under the rim of her hipster jeans. It just sat there at the base of her spine, but still, the way he was kissing her, what he wanted was evident, and she wasn’t about to give it to him. In fact she wasn’t going to give him anything. Her anger got the better of her and she realised that his ‘I know’ was not only in the presumption that she was going to say she loved him back, but it was a way of shutting her up so he could get what he wanted. He had deliberately stopped her from saying any more because he knew it wouldn’t be what he wanted to hear. Since when had Godfry…her Godfry…done that?

“Godfry, wait…” Harmony pulled back, the severity of the situation overcoming her. She knew this was a deliberate attempt to seduce her so he could get what he wanted. The lake, telling her how he thought of her when he saw it. Of course he did…he thought, what a great place to bring her…secluded, out of the way, the perfect place for us to take things further without anyone suspecting anything. Well, she wasn’t ready for that. Especially not with him. It reminded her so much of the advice Carmen had once given her ‘There is no excuse for anyone trying to force you into something you’re not ready for. No amount of love or passion makes it okay for you to feel pressured into sex.’She had never quite understood what she was so worried about before, she wasn’t a virgin anymore, and she had always been a girl to say her mind, but now she knew. She was preparing her for men like Godfry…she was preparing her for Godfry. And that truth, that knowledge, hurt more than anything.

“What now?” He asked sharply. For a moment, she was stunned. Why would he use that tone of voice with her when she had just asked for a moment to breathe, without him trying to pressure her into things she didn’t want? What had happened to him that he had changed so much, so brutally, in the space of just a few days? Or had he changed? Had he always been that person, underneath he surface, just waiting for an opportunity to sleep with her?

“I think we should get back now. Carmen said she wanted to talk to me when she got back…” She lied, hurt at the tone of his voice. She could barely think; she needed to be alone and have room to breathe without him standing there glaring at her. She needed to think and decide if she was willing to try and patch things up or if she hated him, she needed to figure out what she was going to do and how she was going to go about it. But one thing she knew, was that if Godfry didn’t or couldn’t change, if he couldn’t go back to how he had been, there was no hope of her ever being civil to him never mind any hope of a romantic relationship.