Pain }{ K.SY (Hoshi) Book 2

Pain

This is it. The day I can finally meet the girl whose name I had forgotten, I was afraid to tell her that I didn't remember her but talking to her was fun so I carried on.

I was allowed to leave my room now even though I still haven't finished my tests, they're seeing if I will ever be able to feel pain again.

I've forgotten what touching felt like,
I forgot what the feeling of someone kissing me felt like,
When my friends high five me or hug me, I feel nothing.
Most of all, I've forgotten emotional pain.

I use to feel nothing until I got the letters from the mysterious girl, I felt happy and I felt the butterflies in my stomach. When I told Seungcheol-hyung he told me it was love. But is it really?

Maybe one day I can feel this girl, make her my own. But wait. I can't, I forgot she's the opposite to me, she feels everything. The pain she feels is so much worst...Why? How does that work?

I opened my room's door, the halls were dark and empty.
I looked up at the door on the other side of mine.
6-E

I reread the last word on the letter,

My room number is 6-E, right in front of yours. See me soon. Before I go.

The last sentence,
"Before I go."

Is she leaving the hospital soon? Can she feel things normally now? That's great, but wouldn't she be able to come see me?

But before I could ask myself another question, I heard the sound of a machine beeping

I follow the noise to...

6-E?

In sudden panic, I slam open her door to hear the sound more clearly. There she lay, on the bed, eyes half shut.
I ran to her side quickly.

She's dying. That's what she meant.

"Yah! You never told me that this is what you meant by going, why are you like this? Don't leave me with heartache, you helped me feel happy!"

I hold her in my arms, I think this feeling is sadness.

If only I could feel her. It's just numb, I want to feel her, please.

"I'm sorry... That... I... Never told... You. I knew I was... Dying. But I... Couldn't... Tell you..."
She was pale, her eyes bloodshot, I notice tears fall from my face onto her shaky hands. She seemed to be in pain, and shock.

"Why, this isn't fair please don't leave me. I haven't got to feel you." I cried.

"Let go of me...it hurts." She cried.

I can't feel, she can.

What is this?

"And I can't feel! Is this selfish of me that I love you, I just want to feel you!"

Before she could reply, a doctor came in and pulled me away, I never got her name or even got to touch her.

What is this? I hate this.

_______

It was the next day, I was free to leave but I wanted to stay longer. The girl died last night and all I did was cry, although I finally found her name, it was JeongYeon.

Me and my friend Seungcheol stood at the side of her bed, her clothes folded neatly on top of the empty bed, a flower lay on top which I had put there. For respect.

"You shouldn't care about her that much, you never even knew her," Seungcheol told me.

He's right. Why did I care about her when I never really knew her, I guess I just enjoyed the letters and that she was so happy. But she hid the fact that she was dying through those happy little white lies.

He patted my back like the good hyung he is. "I know it'll take you a while to get over her but please, if you need anything, you know I'm here for you. I care about you."

I know you do, hyung.

And I'm sorry.

"I just need a minute. By myself."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I just wanna talk to her."

"Okay, I'll be outside dude. Take as long as you want, I understand."

"JeongYeon, I'll come soon."