I've decided to give you 3 strikes, so every time I find something I really don't like I'll say it then after 3 strikes I'm done and so is your book. Let's begin:
Title- I only got 3 chapters in but I could kinda see how the title pulled into the story I guess it makes more sense later? You can tell if I'm wrong. I'll give this a 5/10.
Cover- First impression on it I think it's very well done nothing I can really say about. I'm gonna do 7/10 on this one.
Description- It's a very nice part of the book, but would I use it to pull people in? Eh. When I read it I thought that sounds interesting but I'm sure there's another one just like it. Try and show how your book is unique not just any book. This one gets a 5/10 because it was still a good section just not the best.
Prologue- Let me just say I'm mad at this because I wanted more to criticize, I wanted to burn you alive, I was hoping for some really bad grammar and terribly written characters, but this is a really good prologue! Now don't get me wrong there are some problems but not enough to give you a strike or anything. When you transition into the past you don't do anything to the text to make it stand out. It was a bit confusing and it took me a minute to figure it out. However that scene was beautifully written it had just enough flair to really get into it so after the first few sentences you don't really notice that you didn't do anything with the text. I can tell you're trying to be different and special with your characters but at the same time I can see where your characters pull from the same predictable cesspool of characters. You have the same predictable child just with a twist of powers so she actually stand up for herself. As for Dalia and the alpha I don't know where exactly you're going with the relationship but I can say I see the predictable tough guy act on both of them. That is all and I'm giving this a 6/10 because I did enjoy reading it.
Chapter 1- This one really let me down. After the prologue was so good this one was, well not. Remember the character cesspool I was talking about it's like before you were dipping your toe in now you just decided to cannonball right in. I was thoroughly disappointed with the Jocelyn character she was like every nerdy friend in every book she didn't want to go to a party, she is mainly shy, she didn't want to go to the cafeteria, she sat and drew the whole time, then she went home and listened to music on her bed. Let's talk about another thing. I think you may just have a problem on what to put when transitioning because last time it was confusing too. One moment she was at lunch the next she was finally done with school. You have to put dots, lines, something to make readers understand. There was a lot of grammatical errors, misspellings, and commas where there shouldn't be. Overall I did not like this chapter and I'm giving it a 4/10 and your first strike. Which is okay cause this is your first and I'm only reading 2 more chapters.
Chapter 2- This chapter is just very long and hard to focus on because it was so long. I lost interest halfway through and it felt like I was just reading to read. If you're going to write a chapter that long make sure you keep the reader interested the WHOLE time. I just wasn't feeling it I had a hard time following the story as well there was just so much going on. You also had some grammatical problems again and you didn't finish a sentence in the middle of the chapter. I'm gonna give this one a 3/10.
Chapter 3- I cant say this one was easy to follow exactly but it was better than the last one. Transitioning is my main thing for this chapter that's the real reason I was confused most of the time because one minute they'd be there the next a whole different area. You should definitely expand more on how they covered their scents and just how the whole scene went down with the alpha because I was really confused once again. I couldn't keep tract of what was happening I think you need to work on detailing and traveling. I'm giving this one a 2/10. This chapter and the last combined is earning you another strike.
Final Score: 2/3 strikes 46% grade
Closing Words: Overall I enjoyed reading this book it had predictable but semi interesting characters. Though the plot was a little hard to follow you got the gist of it. Would I have kept reading past the first chapter if I wasn't reviewing? Probably not. I had high hopes for it and you kinda let me down. Don't get down over this review because it was still wonderful just really needs some work grammatically and structurally. That's is all.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
