how were you going to tell him? should you tell him?
questions swirled around in your mind, a new set of tears at the brim of your eyes. the past few days had been overwhelming and emotional and because of recent events, you've been ignoring zion. every time he'd call you'd send it straight to voicemail, you had put his texts on mute and didn't answer the door when you heard him knocking, begging you to let him in.
the only one who knew why you suddenly went m.i.a was charlotte but that was because you ran into each other at the store. she noticed the many pregnancy test boxes in your basket and you knew you'd been caught, so you paid for the tests and broke down in the car, telling charlotte everything. she'd been supportive and understanding, promising to not say a word to anyone that she saw you and what had happened.
you had just gotten off the phone with the receptionist from your doctor and she confirmed the dreaded news you'd hoping to not be true. you're pregnant. you had taken every over the counter test and requested a blood and pee test at the doctors to be 100%. you prayed and prayed for the results to come back negative, but they didn't and now you'd have to own up to choices.
wiping the tears from your eyes, you took a deep breath and washed your face. if you wanted to tell zion the news, then you're going to have to at least look and sound presentable. You sent him a quick text asking if the two of you could talk and later adding to come over in the next half hour. until then, you jumped into the shower and figured out what you were going to say.
you were showered and looked somewhat presentable, your damp hair pulled into a bun and the redness of your eyes gone down slightly. you tried but it was still obvious you'd been crying.
you sat on the couch staring out the window, lost in thought when you heard the slam of a car door, you took a deep breath in and got up to the open the door. opening the door, zion made his way up the small steps onto the porch, when he saw you he didn't bother to hide the smile on his face, but you just wondered how long that smile would last.
zion wrapped his arms around your frame and inhaled your scent. he missed it, he missed the way you smelt, the way you felt in his arms, he just missed you. to him these last few days felt like he was in hell, he couldn't focus on work, he barely ate, and he spent the nights tossing and turning. you were constantly on his mind thinking about what was wrong and why you'd suddenly pushed him away.
while in his arms you felt guilty and conflicted.
did you really deserve to be hugged by him? did you deserve his love?
and then you broke down, crying on your porch for the whole neighbourhood to see. You told yourself that you weren't going to cry but seeing him, being in his arms brought on a new wave of emotion. zion seemed confused but thought that whatever the reason for your sudden mood change was important because zion knew that you didn't cry easily, showing emotion was hard for you.
"hey, baby girl. what's wrong?" zion was genuinely concerned and for good reason.
pulling away, you wiped your tears and looked at zion "there's something important i have to tell you'' zion nodded and followed you inside, closing the door as he did so, following you into the living room.
you sat cross-legged on the couch, facing him while he sat normally, his hands resting on his knees.
"i know that i've been avoiding you but know that it was because i needed time to think and process everything"
"do you not love me anymore?" zion responded and you felt the air being taken from your lungs. for him to think that hurt you but you knew that it was your own fault
"I love you z and i always will but that's not the reason. i've been to the doctor and taken a few tests"
the mention of the doctor really concerned zion, no, scared him actually. he started going over the worst-case scenarios and couldn't help but think of his life if you weren't in it, he started to internally panic. he grabbed your hands but you refused to hold his hands back so they sat limply on his own.
"i'm pregnant" when the words left your mouth you slowly pulled your hands from out of his.
zion was taken aback and that was clear from his facial expression, he sat in silence for a moment before standing up and walking towards the sliding door that led to your backyard. he needed time to think and process and you understood that considering that's what you've done for the past few days.
you bit down on your lower lip and anxiously waited for zion to come back inside. he'd been out there for half an hour and you watched him sit down on at the table with his head buried in his hands, then he got up and walked down the steps of the deck and you haven't seen him since then. a few times you got up and looked out into the driveway, but his car was still there. you just needed to accept that he needed space just like he eventually did with you.
so you found yourself sitting on the couch, playing with the sleeves of your jersey while ironically staring at a framed photo of you and zion that sat on the shelf below your tv. you heard the sliding door open up and you looked up to see zion, his hat in his hands and a look you couldn't quite make out on his face.
"that's what you kept from me. you went through all that and i wasn't here, you didn't let me in" he spoke quietly but with how silent it was in the room, you heard him loud and clear.
"i didn't know what to do, i didn't know how you'd react. i wanted you here, trust me i did i was just scared that you might leave me because of it"
you didn't want to cry, you were sick of all the tears. you just wanted to get through this with no crying what so ever but every time you'd talk or even think about the situation tears would pool at the edges of your eyes.
zion pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. him leaving you? he could never. no matter what the two of you were going through, he was determined to get through it. and right now it was clear to him that you needed him more than ever.
"baby girl, I could never leave you. you're the most important person in my world and would never want to let you go"
his words soothed your mind and you were happy that he was here with you.
"whatever you decide to do, i'm here and i'll support you 100% but we'll talk about that later. i haven't seen you in 4 days, i've missed you"
he lifted your chin and wiped your tear stain cheeks with his thumbs before planting a kiss on your lips. you loved him and he loved you and right now that's all you could ask for.
•••
okay but that was lowkey really bad 💀 anyway thanks for those of you that have been reading, means a lot plus almost at 100 reads, what?! insane, thanks you 💖
