𝘏𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦- 𝘈𝘯 𝘈𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘈𝘜

Chapter 13

Serena's POV

Have you heard the song 'Counting Stars' by One Republic? Well if you have, then you must remember two lines which are so practical for high schoolers.

I feel something so right, doing the wrong thing

I feel something so wrong, doing the right thing

Maybe its not you, but I find myself in a similar situation, like right now.

Right now.

When suddenly the 'girly-girl' woke up inside me and practically pinned the poor boy to the nearest lockers and smashed, literally smashed, my lips on his, I realized how these lines were so beautiful and so true.

I feel something so right, doing the wrong thing 

I knew it was wrong to kiss Calem out of no where, knowing that we still had to go on our first date and stuff, but if it meant proving Ash wrong, then losing my first kiss was worth it. Why was it worth it, because: 1. He confessed, 2. He FRICKIN' confessed, 3. He said I don't know what love is, 4. He THOUGHT that I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS.

I agree. I am hardcore, maybe mean and a bully to boys, but I have my reasons. And being hardcore doesn't mean that I can't be gentle. Soft. Kind and caring. And I really thought Ash knew that. But it seems he doesn't know me well enough; keyword 'well'.

After yesterday night, I really started to see Ash in a new light. Not as friends, best friends, childhood best friends. He never was brother. I saw him as more than just, just a best friend. And I was looking forward to see him today and talk about everything. But then my pre-planned plan already started to fail. 1. He was way to bummed about my punch yesterday, 2. He couldn't even act like everything was alright, 3. He zoned out a lot.

He MADE ME lose my first kiss. 

So, right now doing the wrong thing felt so right.

I feel something so wrong, doing the right thing 

Kissing Calem was right too. He kissed back and I liked him. It was just another step towards increasing the bond between us. But it felt so utterly wrong. I just kissed him and let my guard down. I kissed him just to prove Ash wrong. Plus, I hurt my bestie. He was wrong but I guess,  punch was enough to punish him. Not break his heart. And knowing the weak side of Ash, he was injured. Badly.

"S-Serena?" Calem breathed.

We were still in the same position, my arms around his neck and his hands on my waist. He looked down at me and raised my chin with his fingers. I reluctantly, let him raise my chin and looked him straight into the eye. Instead of the ususal pair of auburn eyes, I met a pair of cold, grey ones.

His eyes. They aren't as warm as Ash's.

I shook my head to dismiss the image of Ash's face that popped up inside my head.

"C-Calem- it-a-um, I- ugh!" I pulled myself away from Calem.

I like him right. Then why does Ash play on my mind and why can't I show my face to him? 

I randomly walked away from Calem and the crowd that had gathered. It's not everyday they see me kissing a boy, considering the fact that I usually despised boys, except Ash.

I slowed down my pace and reached the basketball court. I did not notice when I turned left from the canteen and reached the bleachers. I sat down on a step and looked up at the sky.

Did I do something wrong? Was the kiss wrong?

I noticed a raven-head sitting on the lowest step. The raven-head. 

I slowly walked towards him and sat down beside him. 

"I never noticed how awesome it felt to sit here, 'alone'." He said.

"I intruded your privacy?" I asked.

"This is not a private area, I guess. So, nope, you didn't." He looked at me and gave a soft smile.

"What are you doing here?"

"Enjoying the view." He shrugged.

"Why did you go?" I whispered.

Silence. Only the howling of the wind through trees and birds chirping was heard.

I patiently waited for him to continue. I knew he was searching for the right words to explain.

"Well- long story short- I lost someone, not too long ago and became kinda emotional and before I started crying in front of the whole school, I came here." He looked at me, sadness visible in his eyes.

"I lost someone dear to me. It was all my fault. I did not think about the consequence of my words and just blurted something that was utterly nonsense. I guess, they were sharp like a an arrow and I- let it slip and strike." He looked at his hands in his lap and fiddled with his fingers before continuing. "How many times do I do something stupid?" 

"I won't say always but whenever you are nervous or embarrassed, I guess. That's when you make a fool out of yourself." I remarked.

I knew that there was no death or problem in Ash's family. So it was quite obvious that I was the someone who was dear to Ash and he lost me because of his in-sensitiveness. I wanted to hug him and comfort him but knowing how badly I messed up, I couldn't bear the fact that Ash would even stop talking to me if I took a wrong step now.

"Yeah. Thanks for telling me that." He looked straight up ahead and did not look at me the same way he did before.

He hates me now, doesn't he?