You'd Be Fine || Kim Namjoon

Chapter 7

1 day left

You woke up and it was 7 in the morning, and, only 1 day left.

You were lying on the couch and Namjoon hadn't been home since yesterday.

Worried, you dialed his number and he finally picked up.

"Oh my gosh Kim Namjoon, where were you lastnight?!"

"I thought the only thing you cared about was our divorce papers." He said coldly.

"Guess what, there's only 1 day left! If you'd stop being so stubborn and actually sign the damn thing!" You said.

"Wait for me tonight then Y/n, if this is what you want." He said.

He hung up straight after that.

You hated that attitude of his, but at the same time, you missed him, as though you couldn't even stand a day without him.

You decided to pack your things into luggages otherwise you'd be more tired tomorrow.

You then remembered, why would you have to pack your luggage when you were going to Switzerland to die?

Laughing at how foolish you were, you jumped onto your bed.

You guess you'd miss this bed of yours, you guess you'd miss cuddling with him, you guess you'd miss everything of this house.

***

It was 6, Namjoon still wasn't home. You remembered he told him to wait for him, but you waited and waited until around 7, you heard him coming into the house.

You had the divorce papers laid on the table, he walked in and saw this setting.

He chuckled.

He wasn't walking properly, in fact quite skew.

When he was close to you, you smelt alcohol.

He was drunk.

"Kim Namjoon, sign." You ordered, the first thing that came out of your mouth revealed how desperate you were.

He laughed wildly, collapsing onto the couch.

"You're drunk." You said.

"I am?" He asked, "So what must I do, Choi Y/n?"

"Namjoon, please just sign this, lets get it over and done with." You said, exhausted.

"You're a selfish motherfucker." He said in a serious tone.

Unsure of what you just heard, "What?"

Namjoon bit his lip and looked at you again, his eyes imapaired with pain.

"You, Choi Y/n, are a selfish motherfucker." He spat, word by word.

You laughed helplessly, "How am I selfish Namjoon? How?"

"You're leaving me alone because you don't want to suffer that pain, leaving me alone, with pain." He said.

"And what else do you call that except for selfish? Don't even deny it Y/n."

His words broke your heart, though you held your tears that were welling up in your eyes.

"And do you hate me? Hate me for being so selfish, paying for eunthanasia because I'm a braveless coward, afraid to go through all of the pain and stuggles, afraid to suffer!?" You asked.

"Yes, I hate you Choi Y/n."

"Then sign this so we could get divorced, so that you could get rid of me as soon as possible." You offered him a solution.

He didn't say anything, nor did he sign the papers.

"I could also kill myself if I wanted to." He said, threatening you.

"Don't you dare Kim Namjoon!" You warned him, looking extremely worried.

"Then how could you do it?! How could you kill yourself and not allow me to do it!? I, like you, don't want to suffer from the pain. This proves that you are a selfish-"

Before he could say what he wanted to say, you struck his face with your hand.

His cheek must've been burning, as it did with your hand.

You were so furious that you couldn't control yourself and slapped him.

At the same time, the tears you've been holding on to, rolled out continuously.

"You are the most perfect person I've ever seen!" You screamed, "You are talented and you've got a bright future right in front of you! You are still young, I do not allow you to fade! I do not allow you to waste your time on me, it's fucking useless Kim Namjoon!!! I will just drag you behind and you'd waste your time while you're young!" You yelled, your tears still flowing.

"We could go through this together Y/n! It's not as if it's not the second time!" He pleaded, whining like a child.

"And how long did that take Namjoon? How much time did you waste Namjoon?! The first time I was infected with cancer, I wasted three whole years of your valuable time just through chemotherapy! You'd stay in the hospital room with me 'til midnight! You could've spent more time on your education but you chose to waste your time on something useless like me!!! Now, this bloody cancer is back and I will not allow you to do anything stupid!!!" You screamed emotionally, choking on every single breath you took.

"Y/n, but-" He said but you cut him off.

"No buts Kim Namjoon, you'd be fine, in fact you'd be great without me! Just stop nagging and move on with your brilliant life!" You howled.

He was speechless, but his eyes were shining with tears.

"Who's going celebrate birthday with me every year then?" He asked weakly, his tears falling.

"Who'd eat my nasty food that I made?"

"Who'd be there to shout at me when I break an object?"

"Who'd be there to remind me that I should stop working so much and rest!?"

His voice was getting louder and louder each time he named a memory.

"Who's going to be as special as Y/n?! She gives the best hugs, who'd give them to me?!"

"Y/n... Please stay with me."

If you heard one more thing from him, you would probably hesitste and reconsider.

What you decided was what you decided and you were not going to change anything.

You were going to love him your way.