Enemies with Benefits: Freshman in Training

Step 40: Closure.

I had to sell it, make it sound less upsetting. "Have a safe trip. Keep in touch :)"

I knew we wouldn't keep in touch. That wasn't us. But neither was this.

"Yeah damn I'm so sorry :("

And I'll admit by this, I was crying. It obviously showed how much we wanted to be with each other before he left.

"You really wanted to hang out before huh?"

"Yeah!!" He sent. He also sent a, "Ok for sure. goodnight(:"

"Goodnight (:"

"Yeah I really did too." I mean I had tears just never ending at this point.

We both wanted to hang out. I mean he really wanted to hang out with me.

I finally got my wish.

Kevin Brooks liked me.

It was just too late.

I laid down. That was probably the last conversation we would ever have.

I mean I wanted to hang out so badly but he had to pack. I understood that!

I just didn't want to realize that it was goodbye in less than a week and a half.

He was moving on the weekend of June 6th, 2014. That weekend's movie will be The Fault In Our Stars.

So thank God for that. It's a reason to cry 3x as much as I was planning on that night.

5-29-14

I had been literally so upset all day that I'd been sick.

Forcing myself to eat and to do my work.

I had been arguing with Sarah and Sami all morning.

Finally Sarah and I agreed to be happy on the terms that he liked me. Kevin Brooks liked me!

I demanded so many answers. I wanted to know why he kept it from me.

He's sitting here telling me that he's going to miss me and that he's so sorry and that he really wanted to hang out. Sending goodnight's with smiley faces and cursing because he's so mad it didn't work out.

I can't believe it took all of those things in one night for me to realize he liked me.

I'm not sure how long he's liked me. It may have been all year.

It could have been longer.

I just want to know why he didn't tell me?!

Why didn't he show me until now? Why did he choose now to let me in?

But like Sarah has been telling me in so many messages, I need to be happy that he likes me.

The Kevin Brooks likes me!

Sarah said that he likes me because I'm not a normal girl.

Yeah, what normal girl do you know that writes a book on her crush?

Haha no but I always listened to him, and wasn't afraid to call him out on things and/or hit him.

We worked perfectly together. There was never a dull moment with us.

I'm going to miss that so damn much.

With the reaction I've had from finding out he's leaving until this very moment as I type this, I do love Kevin.

I love the way he crinkles his nose when he laughs. Or when he scrunches his face up when he can't see. And let's not forget the everpresent buldging veins on his arms because God those were beautiful.