Memories and Nightmares

Scarred

I bore the brunt of the damage

Shielding my unit from the IED

Hot, hot, hot shrapnel tearing through

Meat and nerves.

I felt the heat,

The fire so hot I thought I would

Burn alive with flesh cracking,

And bones blackened.

I felt the tiny bits of metal

And plastic as they became

Embedded just so;

I couldn't move without it

Scraping bone.

I felt the M.A.S.H. Unit

Tearing me apart to fix me up.

Getting me all dressed up like

A turkey on Thanksgiving.

I felt my Family's stares when

I returned, eyes all tracing the

Scar tissue covering half my face,

And the wheelchair I couldn't move

Without.

I felt my fingers digging into cotton sheets,

Nails becoming jagged and bleeding

As I tried to find something to

Ground myself, to remind me 

that I wasn't back there.

I felt the weight of the .34,

Knowing that despite my honourable

Discharge and Purple heart that death

Was all that was left for me.

No one wants a scarred, crippled

Woman.