I could feel the heat from the sun, beating down on my face through the window pane. I blankly stared out the glass, as the trees zoomed past me, moving 60 miles an hour. My face getting hotter each second I kept my face to the glass. I was slowly growing tired as my once home, now a memory, moved further away. The radio was blaring NPR. Something about endangered penguins, or the new medicine that cures cancer. I scoffed at the voices.
"Svet." my mom barked. Something about me having no respect for my elders. I nodded, not caring and put my headphones in. The Front bottoms told me about the wonder that was the twin size mattress and reminded me that the devil made me do it. Eventually it soothes me just enough to fall asleep.
"Svet." My mother said my name while gently shaking me from the front seat reaching back to me. I didn't respond. "Svet." Nothing. "Svet!" she jerked my arm and I awoke from my used to be pleasant, now rude awakening slumber.
"What?" I yawned and stretched my arms.
"Honey, we're here." She smiled at me with the brightest most beautiful smile. I so much aspired to be her one day. She grew up unloved by everyone but my father. She was alone until she turned 22, now 51. I hear stories of the times she was abandoned, beaten, bullied, marked. I always heard the pounding in my head which was a reminder that she was gorgeous. She was pleasant and lovely and kind. Why would a woman like her deserve something so vile?
The door opens to the brand new Cadillac that my dad had bought earlier that week and the sunlight burned my eyes. I breathed in and closed my eyes to shield them. Breathing in deeply, I calmed my nerves the only way I knew how.
My father, standing in front of me looks down at me and shrugs and sighs.
"This is why she never gets anything done." he states and smirks at me and giggles.
He doesn't get the whole anxiety thing.
"Oh stop that." My mom playfully pat my father on his broad shoulder.
I am the girl who honestly doesn't get anything done. She doesn't have a full time job, doesn't have time for other affairs, and doesn't play with toys. Yes, my father does all these things.
My legs felt like putty and I had crumbs of wheat thins on my cheeks and lips. My hair was parted in the middle and greasier than it had been in a while. I combed it out standing outside the car with the wet brush I had in my bag. Not better. I shrugged and put the brush back.
"Svet you look like no one loves you."
"Yes mama, i'm aware."
I kissed her on her cheek and smiled.
I took a few steps and looked around and my head hurt. I thought about all the memories i've had at this house I was to be living at for the rest of my high-school years. I was scared, excited, happy, sad, nervous. Before I had time to focus on my emotions, Halyn rushes out her front door and greets me.
"Svet-freaking-lannah I cant believe this is happening!" she shouted a little too loudly for my preference. I tried to seem as excited as her but I don't think she believed my enthusiasm.
"Yeah! It's gonna be fun!" I said.
"Don't worry it's gonna be fine, you know that done you?" She looked deeply into my eyes and brushed my hair back and whispered, "This is gonna be our year Svet. You and me."
I giggled and hugged her and spoke to her in my fake english accent, "Miss, must you show me to my room so soon, or do you have time for a crumpet?"
She replied in her Russian accent, "I have minutes to waste svetchka." and she smiled at me with her dimples being outlined definitely by her contoured skin. We both giggled as I winked at her, wrapped my things in our arms, and galloped like we we're antelopes inside.
I entered the front door as if it were and had been for ages, my house. The walls were stained with a silvery yellow paint, and the boards on the ceiling were breaking and chipping. I mumbled to myself "oh my..." All of the floors were recently upgraded to hardwood except the single carpet floor in the basement because of flooding that occurs once every year. Mildew smell. Yuck. Marina came running as soon as she heard the door close behind me.
"Svetta! You're here!" She was glowing. 7 months pregnant and a recovering alcoholic, but nonetheless glowing. Her beauty was a slap in the face considering how I looked at the moment. As I stood in front of her, torn adidas sweats and a Colorado sweatshirt which happened to belong to a recent ex of mine, I felt very self conscious.
"Hey...Mari. How are you? How is the little man?" I asked.
I started thinking about if it was acceptable to call her miniature human that. I was worried that it was too socially unacceptable. Like myself.
"I'm really good, I eat so much. I'm still working. Though they did tell me I could have maternity leave, I need the money. You haven't been around in a long time. You haven't felt little Elnsley kick!" she said looking hopeful for me to say "Yes I'd love to feel the human just bopping around inside of you."
"Uh yeah, I haven't actually." Moving forward to touch her belly, I placed my hands on her round stomach. I felt the majestic toes touching the tips of my fingers. Tingles were shot down my spine and a sense of security trickled through my body.
"Woah." I whispered, taken back by the experience.
I had never felt a baby inside a woman's body before.
She looked at me and laughed. "Yeah, it's kind of amazing, huh?"
I looked startled, embarrassed that she could tell I'd never done it before.
"Yeah, it really is." I said and smiled.
