I guess the moon doesn't look half bad when I'm alone and other stories

Midnight Blues

It is still dark when I wake up. I get up and reach for the side table where I normally keep my watch. That's when I realise I was not at my home and I was lying naked on the floor. I get up, get dressed and head for the bathroom. I turn the sink on and look into the mirror. There is a cut on my lips and some scratches on my face. Aside from that, nothing has changed. It is the same unfamiliar reflection staring back at me. Funny, you would think that you would finally get used to something after practically living with it for years. But I guess there are some things even Whiskey can't get you accustomed to, let alone get you comfortable with. I reach into my pockets and grab a cigarette from it. I sit down on the floor as I light it. I take a few puffs in, let it out and look around. Marble tiles, sink made out of granite and beautifully designed bathtub right beside a window that opens up into the streets. I take a few more drags from my cigarette, stub it out and get up from the floor and look in to the mirror again, and for an instance, I feel this strange feeling of Deja Vu. It's like I am trapped in this place, like I have always been trapped in this place, and just like a bad dream you can't seem to wake up from, I can't get out of it. I splash some water on my face, chalk it up to my being drunk and decide to head home.

I get out of the bathroom, grab my stuff from the bedside table and proceed towards the door. As I am leaving, I decide to look around the main room before going away. And that's when I see her. Man, is she beautiful. From the shape of her ankles to the curves of her lips, she is perfect. And as I look at her, I start to feel something I haven't felt for a long time now. I actually feel happy and content. I feel like that I can actually stop and run away with her. That I can make a life with her, and ultimately, when I am old and weak, waiting to die alone, I will actually look back on all this and conclude that maybe it was all worth it in the end. And as I dream of making a life with her, that strange feeling of Deja Vu returns. And that's when it hits me. This is not the first time I have been here, and this certainly won't be the last. This is how it begins, the illusion of a better life, the hope of finally getting out of this place, the hope of finally..................not being alone. But no matter how hard you try or how much of a good connection you have with someone, some people can never make it last. Some people, like satellites floating around in space in isolated courses, can never escape solitude. We may get closer to someone else whenever they come close to our orbits, but we can never truly be with them, and will always get pulled back away from them eventually as we drift through space. My train of thought gets derailed at slight sound of a sheets rustling. I see that she has woken up. She looks like a phantom in the moonlight, a phantom of something I have wanted all my life, but can never have. And looking into her eyes, I realise that, just like me, she too is trapped in this place. That she too is looking for a way out. I decide to take a chance, and I realise she wants that too. But as I look at her warm eyes and her fragile smile, I realise that she has been tired, tired from trying so hard and failing even after that. And then I realise, I have been tired too. And even though I am running through a maze with no exit right now, at least it provides me with some temporary comfort, and the hope of making out of here someday. Our eyes meet for one last time, and with knowing glances and weak smile, we say goodbye to each other. And I get on my way and she goes back to sleep.

There was a mirror in the landing right outside her door, and for a minute, I could have sworn something familiar looked at glanced at me. But no, it was the same damn face I looked at earlier in bathroom. I smirk to the mirror, light a cigarette and come down to the street. I take one last look at her apartment, let out a sigh and start walking for the bar to catch the last call. And somewhere along the horizon, a star falls across the sky.