Desire | Shawn Mendes

EIGHTEEN

"Own up to it?"

"Maybe that's not the right wording, but it's like he's saying he doesn't mean any of this. So she keeps coming to me and I don't know what to do."

"It sounds like he's confused. He should make up his mind." Shawn says.

Maybe you should make up your mind, Shawn! Do you like me? Do you love me? Can you make your mind up? Please?

"Well how does your friend feel? Is she giving off hints towards how she feels?" He asks.

"I don't love you anymore." I nod my head. "She's been crystal clear."

"Are you sure? Do you know how she feels inside? Because sometimes we don't always say what we mean, or what we feel, for that matter."

"Sh..She hasn't told me in depth what she feels. I asked her, you know, do you want him to love you? And she hasn't answered back."

"What makes her so sure that he wants to love her?" He asks me.
"It's these hints he always drops."

"Well maybe he's just dropping hints because he doesn't know what she feels. Did you guys think about that?"

Okay, so what you're telling me is you don't know how I feel? Which is why I don't know what you feel? Hm. Noted!

"Ugh, this is so middle school." I say.
"Don't stress her problem. It's not like it's happening with you."

I carefully set my jar down in the sand and sit down, simply giving up and instead watching the moon reflect against the water. Shawn now grabs small stones and smooth sea glass and begins to skip them across the water. I listen to the waves crashing and the stones skipping. The water touches my toes and I continue to look at Shawn while thinking of Chloe's question.

"How do you skip rocks?" I ask him.
"You don't know how to skip?" He replies. I shake my head. "Stand up, I'll show you."

Shawn steps closer to me and takes my hand in his as he helps me up. His hand remains on my hand as he now stands behind me. Shawn let's go of my hand before placing his left hand at my shoulder and holds my right hand in his right hand.

"Okay, so grab the rock." He tells me. "And let your wrist loose, but not too loose."

"This okay?" I ask.
"Mm, like this."

Shawn loosens his grip at my wrist and my wrist becomes loose. "Perfect," he mumbled in my ear.

"Alright, now lean your shoulders back just a bit. Riiiiighhhht there! Okay, now swing your arm back with mine. And, skip." Shawn says.

The smooth rock glides over the water three times before sinking under. "I did it!"

Shawn wraps his arms around me from behind in a hug and spins me around before setting me down on my feet. Woah. His chin rests in the crook of my neck before he lets me go.

"Alright, now you try it all by yourself. I promise I won't make it into a competition." Shawn says.

"Why don't I believe you?" I ask as I squint my eyes at him.
"Damn...you know me far too well."
"Not as much as I used to."

I let out a chuckle and glance at Shawn; the pebble in his hand slips between his fingerprints and lands on the sand beneath us with the softest thud. He looks at me before cocking his head to the side and slightly narrowing his eyes at me.

Uh oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that... Maybe he took offense to it. Great thinking, Jasmine.

"What time does Simone land tomorrow?" He asks me.
"Eleven in the morning." I reply.
"Let's go somewhere, come on, I know just the place."