I'm a stripper, doesn't mean I'm a slut

Ninja slash emo outfits

"Yeah." I say slowly, regretting my promise to him.

"Well then, you're not as thick as I thought you were."

"Hey - "

"Anyway," he interrupts me. "Meet me in twenty minutes at that park near that bakery that sells those homemade triple chocolate fudge cookies. You know it, yeah?"

"Yeah, but I have to be at work in - " I don't get to finish the rest of my sentence because he hangs up on me. He freaking hung up on me!

So I do what any self respecting girl in my situation would.

I scream into my pillow. Loud.

---

"Stupid, arrogant, little, son of a - " I mutter angrily as I pace around the park. That bloody kid makes me rush to get out of the house and to the park in twenty minutes, and he's not even here?

I continue to curse him with language in all different colours (I'm very multiculturally diverse) until a dark figure suddenly comes into view up ahead. I stop pacing and stare.

I blink. Then I blink again. Am I seeing things right? Cooper (at least, I think it's Cooper) is dressed in what appears to be an outfit taken straight out of a ninja/emo movie - black jeans, black hoodie, black cap, black bandana, black ninja mask and black sunglasses (did I mention that he was wearing black?).

If that wasn't enough to draw attention to himself, he was carrying what appeared to be a huge red santa-like sack that, unlike santa, probably did not contain children's gifts.

"What in hell's name are you wearing?" I ask as he comes into earshot.

"Clothes." James answers in a "no duh" tone, coming to a stop in front of me.

I frown. "Well, thank you Captain Obvious, for that. I mean, why are you wearing a ninja slash emo like get up?"

"I don't want to be seen in public with you." he states as if talking about the weather.

I raise an eyebrow. "Well, I don't exactly want to be seen in public with you either - especially with you wearing - that." I gesture towards his strange outfit.

"Whatever, let's just make this quick - I want to get in and out of here as soon as possible." he takes down the santa sack from his back and plonks it onto the grass.

"That's what he said." I can't help but say.

"You're immature." he frowns at me, his sunglasses and ninja mask obscuring his face, making him look like some kind of displeased pedophile.

"I try." I say, shrugging.

Cooper clears his throat. "Anyway, I guess I'll leave you to it. Return it to me by the weekend." he starts walking away.

"Hey, hold on!" I cry, grabbing the santa sack (shit, it's heavy) and run to catch up with him. "Return what to you exactly?"

"The bag." he says in that irritating "no duh" tone.

"And what exactly is in the bag?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

"Clothes." he smiles, knowing that he's pissing me off with his vague answers.

"Don't patronise me." I say through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, love." he grins at me. "It's hard not to - you should see your face, it's hilarious."

"So what do you want me to do?" I glare up at him.

"Wash the clothes. Give them back to me by Saturday morning, say around eight." he says as if I am a little child who can't understand english. "Get it? Got it? Good. Kay, bye sweetie." he starts walking away.

I angrily trot on after him. "Hey, why do I have to give them to you so early in the morning? I'm working the late shift that night - I'm only gonna get like three hours sleep if I come at that time."

"Not my problem, whore."

"Don't call me that."

"Hey, I'm just calling it as it is."

"Why do I have to do your laundry anyway?" I whine. "Don't you have servants or something, rich boy?"

"Our housekeeper's off for the week. She's having a baby or something - I don't know." he waved a hand flippantly.

"Don't you have any sympathy for those less fortunate than you?" I ask. "You treat me like crap just because I have to work for a living."

"It's not that you work for a living that I don't like, it's what you do that creeps me out."

"What makes being a stripper any different than any other job? I know that there's the whole social taboo on it, or whatever but I work just as hard as someone who works at McDonalds or Subway or Walmart - I just earn a lot more. It's not like I enjoy what I do - it's just something that has to be done in order to get food onto the table."

"Whatever babe, it's not my fault you chose to spread your legs for a living." he says, leaving me fuming on the spot as he continues to walk away.

I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I HATE him. Shit, I hate him.

I glare at his stupid back as he stupidly walks further and further away. Stupid head.

"You look like a dick head in that ninja slash emo outfit, by the way." I yell after him.

But he's already gone.

---

VOTE. COMMENT. FAN. If you don't, dishonour on you, dishonour on your family, dishonour on your cow ... you get the picture :P

Lol, it took me so long to update - better late than never, eh? >.<

Please inform me of the numerous mistakes/continuity errors I have most probably made so I may change them and preserve what little dignity I have left :P

Sooo .... what do you think's gonna happen next? What do you WANT to happen next? Will James ever stop being a douche bag? Will I update faster this time? Find out next time on IASDMIAS!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT: Shoutout to mistletoewreath came up with the "your place or mine" comeback, a gazillion times better than what I came up with ~ you go girlfriend :)