This Diary I Found

24 :: She Lies on Velvet

When we put her on the bed with the velvet covers, Kaye tended to her. Gwen and I stood near the foot of the bed.

"Gwen," I said softly, but she turned to me looking annoyed.

"What?"

"Look, I'm sorry for telling people that we slept together, okay?" I needed her hostility to disappear so I started with an apology. "I didn't know it was that big of a deal--"

Gwen scoffed. "Not that big of a deal?" Her eyebrows were furrowed and her arms were crossed over her chest. "Do you know what happened after you told my friends about what happened with us that day at the parking lot?"

I shook my head.

"They sneered at me. They thought I was some big bimbo for sleeping around with the likes of you. They didn't even give me a chance to say that we only did it once. That was it. My clean reputation was sacked."

Feeling guilt and regret, I bowed my head down. I remembered how surprised Sage was when she found out about it. "Gwen's known to have high standards. It's what makes her Gwen," I remembered her say.

"My friends didn't want to talk to me," Gwen continued, "The next week they didn't want to sit with me. They'd shoot me disgusted looks in the hallways. The day after that, the rumors spread like wildfire. The whole school was ringing with:

"'Gwen Bellingham's not as high-standard as everyone thinks she is.' 'Gwen Bellingham is just a slut under all that pricy makeup she cakes on her face.' 'Gwen Bellingham's no better than the rest of us.' 'Gwen Bellingham slept with Trevor Jettison so she must be really easy to bed,'" she mimicked, taking a step towards me with every mention of her name.

I stepped back, back, back until my back hit the wall. I heard the rumors. Louie and I laughed at them. I never really paid attention to how they affected Gwen.

"You ruined me, Trevor," she said.

Her eyes were getting red 'round the edges. But even the unshed tears weren't enough to hide the hatred that burned behind her eyes. And I knew that nothing I said would mean anything to her. But I opened my mouth anyway.

"I didn't mean to--"

"Get out."

The sheer indifference in her voice was like a cold slap. She didn't shout the words. I wish she did. But the words rolled out so soft, they flew to my throat and suffocated me.

I needed to breathe so I walked out the door. I jogged down the stairs. I ran outside the mansion towards that gazebo I knew so well. The cold was unwelcoming but ironically much warmer than Gwen's gaze.

The EDM-infused party music clashed with the sounds coming from the fairgrounds just a few blocks away. I was at the spot where Emma and I kissed. I should have been thinking of her. But I couldn't get Gwen off my mind.

I stared at Diego's room from a distance. The girls were still in there. I could see Gwen's silhouette passing by the window every once in a while.

"Not a fan of the music they're playing in there?" an accented voice emerged.

Diego had two beers in his hands. He offered me one and I accepted it.

"Nah, I just wanted to be alone for a while," I answered, taking a swig outta the bottle.

Sitting on the lower steps of the gazebo, Diego shook his head. "That's not really the best thing to do at a party."

"Small get-together," I corrected him.

He chuckled. "Ah, yes. But I stand by my words. You don't go out to a social event to be alone. That's like going to the desert to shower."

"Fair point," I said. "But to be honest, I'm not really here for the get-together."

"Why are you here, then?"

I sighed. I set the beer bottle aside and reached into my jacket. Diego looked at me curiously as I did so. I pulled out a small, green, leather-bound notebook that led me to where I was.

"I just wanted to return this," I said.

"Where did you get that?" Diego's voice changed. Most of the friendliness had been replaced with panic and confusion.

"I found it," I said. There was no need to lie anymore. I've given up. Gwen didn't want to talk to me. Not even if I showed her the diary. I turned to him and said, "You're mentioned in here a few times. I take it that you know who owns this?"

"I do."

I walked towards Diego until I was close enough to hand it to him. "Could you please give it back to her?"

He looked surprised, but took the notebook nonetheless. "You don't want to give it back yourself? You found it."

"I don't think she wants to talk to me right now."

Diego nodded. "I'll give it to her tomorrow, when she wakes."

Starting to walk away, I shook my head. "She's already awake," I informed, pointing up to his bedroom window. Diego looked up just in time to see Gwen pass by again.

"That's Gwen."

I nodded, already having my back turned from him. "Exactly."

"I was talking about Sage."

My feet froze, like somebody pushed the pause button on my life. Recovering from the shock, I turned back to the Italian. Gulping, I questioned, "What?"

"Sage."

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