sweaters - h.s

four

I loved the weekend, it was probably the best to get to spend time away from school. I had tried to make plans with Louis, wanting to catch up with him since I knew he was busy with a level work but I insisted he came out with me. When we starting to bond, we would go to the local cafe and have our favourite drinks together.

So, when I called him and invited him to the cafe at 10am, he seemed much happier than I had expected. I don't even remember the last time I had told him I wanted to see him, I was hell bent on pushing him away. I knew I've probably hurt Louis in more ways I can imagine but I just wanted to make it up to him.

I ordered his drink for him, remembering his favourite latte as I stuck with the ice blended cold drinks as I hated hot drinks. I got Louis's favourite lemon drizzle cake too. Small gestures always go a long way.

When Louis stumbled through the door, he looked tired and it was obvious he had a rough night as he sat down on his chair slowly, before smiling warmly at me.

"You got my usual!" He exclaimed happily, going for a bite of the cake straight away as I just nodded, grinning. I forgot how good it felt to be around Louis.

"Yeah, I wouldn't forget." I said before taking a sip of my cold drink.

"Thank you Harry," he said gratefully and going to sip of his drink. I watched him for a while, observing how happy he suddenly looked and the evidence from a rough time was slowly disappearing too.

I really missed Louis, he was always here for me and tried to never let his patience wear thin with me. I wish I could do the same, have the same patience and love he had for me but I was a shit friend. I had a lot of making up to do. For all the times I've yelled at him, left him without an explanation, told him to fuck off in the past month.

Yet, here he was and it looked like he wouldn't prefer to be any other place. That's what you call a loyal friend and I've been taking it for granted.

"Louis, I'm sorry," I suddenly blurted out before he had the chance to say anything else. His eyes widened at my sudden apology, choking on his drinks as he kept coughing up. I was slightly alarmed, unsure how to stop his violent cough but he held a hand up to signal me to stop.

"Sorry." He said in between his coughs and I handed over my drink, hoping it would soothe his throat and the coughs. He took it off me, taking a sip before handing it back.

I was a bit taken back of his reaction, I wasn't expecting him to nearly choke himself to death because of a simple apology. Was he so surprised by the words that came out of my mouth? Was I really that bad of a friend? I was pathetic.

"Harry," he said, breaking me out of my thoughts, "what you sorry for?"

At first, I thought he was challenging me because he was pissed of the events of this past month. He wanted me to repeat what I've done to him just so he can spite me, agree and tell me how I'm a horrible person. I gulped, trying to push my nerves down but I quickly realised, that wasn't his intention.

He genuinely was asking why I'm sorry.

"You know why." I practically groaned, not wanting to say it out loud and hate myself even more. I was already regretting it, and I had to accept it.

"It's okay Harry, you were going through a lot." Louis nodded at me, trying to make me feel better but I knew it wasn't an excuse. You can't treat people like shit when all they've done is be there for you because you're going through a lot. It doesn't work that way.

"No, don't try and make excuses for me," I quickly said. "It wasn't okay and it still isn't. I feel terrible." I looked down at my admittance, I wasn't really used to saying sorry for anything, especially the attitude I've gained since dad walked out.