Peter Parker/Spider-Man Drabbles

You Give Me Hope in the Darkness That I Will See the Light

WARNING: swearing, angst, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts (but there is a happy ending! i promise!)

A/N: Taking a short break from requests, because I'm in a mood and none of the prompts were sad enough. Idk guys. Sometimes life just sucks and you need to write sad stories to vent and for the sake of fucking catharsis. But, if you need someone to talk to about anything, I'm always here and I answer as soon as I see messages. I will never leave you on read. I promise. Also, if you need it, here's the suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255. I've never contacted them, but I hear they're good people and they're nice and they listen. Please don't hesitate to contact me or them. I love you all! :) (Also, yes, that is a Mumford and Sons lyric as the title. Fight me.)

...

A text.

Three years of basically being attached at the hip and what seems like out of nowhere your friend tells you that they don't want to be friends anymore and you need to leave them alone over a fucking text.

Jesus Christ.

But, it isn't actually "out of nowhere," is it?

You knew this was coming. You'd known it for quite awhile. They didn't just suddenly decide to leave you. You pushed them away.

You push everyone away.

It's what you do. It's what you've always done. It's how all of your friendships have ended. So why did you expect that this one would be any different?

You didn't. You just had hope.

Stupid, ridiculous, idiotic, foolish, ignorant hope.

You turn your phone off and crawl into bed. Your head is light and you're dizzy so all you want to do is close your eyes and sleep forever, but you can't slow down your breathing and you can't stop shaking. Your thoughts keep going deeper and deeper and tears start pouring out of your eyes.

How could they do this to you?

Why do you deserve this?

What did you do?

A quiet knock at your bedroom door brings you momentarily back into reality.

"Can I come in?"

"Go away!" you choke out angrily. You bury your head into your pillow and squeeze it tightly around your skull while your sobs rack their way through your body.

The doorknob jiggles.

"Y/N? Please let me in?" His voice quietly pleads outside your locked door.

"Go away! Go the fuck away!" you shout at him. Your voice coarse and broken, perfectly capturing how you currently feel.

Footsteps fade down the hall, but he wanders back quickly. The knob jiggles for a few seconds then clicks and the door cracks and light floods into your dark room.

"Go away Peter!" you groan and try to shove your face even farther into your pillow.

He doesn't say anything, but he closes the door and you hear the floor boards creak under his weight as he walks over to you. The mattress shifts as he sits down and you pull your knees up to your chest.

He takes a deep breath before he speaks.

"I understand if you don't want to talk," he says quietly and calmly. "But I'm not going to leave. I'm staying and I'm going to be right here if you need me."