34 - Rowan

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I just read Six of Crows and I need the second book so bad. I'm addicted!

Kaz though. He's awesome.
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He couldn't stop staring at her. Rowan had been working to find Aelin for months, had wanted this moment, and now that it was here, now that she was safe, he didn't know how to react. Her skin was marred with more scars than before, and everything about her felt so different. She was here, with him, but she was so far away. He stared at her from the threshold of the room he'd made his own, afraid if he made a wrong move, something in her would crack. But instead she turned to face him. She looked tired, so much older than nineteen. "Did Lysandra keep her promise?"

"Right until they found out," he told her.

Her eyebrows furrowed. "How did they find out? She perfected everything." Of course she had; her acting abilities had been bred in the same place Aelin's own talents had been. Arobynn was a ruthless man, and he would've left no room for error in anything. Lysandra had been a courtesan, and acting was a huge part of the job. Rowan still didn't understand how the others found out. From what he knew of Lysandra, she didn't slip often, if at all.

"I don't know," Rowan confessed. "Nothing has made much sense around here since I returned."

She blinked, but didn't look surprised. How much had Aedion told her already? "Returned?"

Rowan nodded, silently hoping she wouldn't grow angry. She had wanted Terrasen to have a King, and it was part of the reason she'd married him. To be away from Terrasen and searching for her was the opposite of what she had wanted. "I was looking for you. Lysandra and Aedion went north with the armies you collected, Gavriel, Dorian, Elide, and Lorcan accompanied Manon and her Thirteen on their mission to get her hands on the crochans. When I returned months after beginning my search, everything was off. Lysandra was dicovered, Manon returned with no crochans, Dorian hadn't heard from Chaol--"

"Do the strange Fae have anything to do with all of this?" She interrupted. When he didn't answer, she looked up at him. What are you not telling me?

"I brought them here," he told her, even as guilt clawed at his insides. Before he knew them, it was easy to think of the Courts as less-than people. But now that he knew them, had conversations with them, and even respected them, the line he crossed had become a lot more visible. He waited for her to ask where they's come from, from what part of the world they lived, but she didn't.

"How did you bring them here? Am I wrong when I say that they are from a place that is not of this world, or is Aedion telling the truth?" She had no reason to doubt Aedion's word. The fact that she was asking Rowan anyway made him frown. Why give him the chance to lie to her?

"They are from a place called Prythian. I brought them on a deal." He debated ending it there and refusing to tell her who he bargained with, but said it anyway. "With Erawan."

"You did what?" Her voice was sharp with surprise. It seemed Aedion had kept that detail to himself.

"I made a deal with Erawan," he repeated steadily, "that if we fought, and I won, we recieve soldiers from his world that would aid us in fighting him. I won, and the strange Fae are the soldiers that will aid us in our fight." He hesitated. "However, I didn't realize that where they come from, they're also fighting a war. I promised them that Terrasen would aid them in their fight in return for their help with ours. I know that it endangers us, and I understand if you're upset. It wasn't my proudest moment." He was met with silence. He expected her to be disappointed, or angry, but when he looked at her, there was pride in her gaze as she approached him, until they were only a few inches away from one another.

"You fought a demon King for me and my people. You've gained us allies and helped keep this entire from falling apart. Not only that-- you looked for me for months while I was stuck with Maeve. How could I be upset, Rowan?" She reached up, placing her palm against his cheek, and he leaned into the touch. "I'm grateful for what you've done, for Terrasen and for me," she murmured.

He grasped her chin gently and said, "Not looking for you, not helping you, was never an option. You're my wife and you're my mate, Aelin, and I meant what I said when I vowed to stay with you, to help you when you needed it, to love you even when you pull something that gives the rest of us heart attacks."

"To whatever end?"

"To whatever end."

She took a deep breath, and Rowan thought it was to steady herself. She looked so tired. "Maybe you should rest," he suggested quietly, but she shook her head, abrupt defiance sparking in her eyes.

"I've been resting since I got back. It's time to start acting like a Queen again."

"You've been through a lot, Aelin--"

"And I'll deal with it," she promised. It sounded like a lie, and Rowan wondered if the words had tasted like one on her tongue. "But right now, we have a lot on our plate, what with the war and everything. Dorian recieved a letter from Chaol about a week ago, and he doesn't think he'll be of any use for a few more months, unless the healers come across a miracle. Aedion has prisoners that say they're from the same place as our new, otherworldly allies, and if I'm looking at all of this right, Erawan's readying himself for something." She folded her arms over her chest. "We're in the middle of a war. This isn't really the time to deal with personal issues."

Rowan studied her again, more carefully this time. Something in Aelin had changed, but that was to be expected after months of being at Maeve's mercy. He knew she wouldn't tell him what happened until he pushed the right buttons and made her snap. She was good at bottling things in, and he had no doubt there was a lot raging under the surface right now. He didn't care how long it would take. He'd push those buttons for as long as he had to, even if he got his ass burned in the process. But for now, Aelin was right; they had other things to worry about. So he reluctantly nodded, though he shot her a look as he opened the door for her. This conversation isn't over. "I'm sure our Court allies would like to meet you," he said.

She nodded in thanks, glancing up into his eyes as she passed him. I know.

I admit it-- this is a filler chapter. I'm getting myself back into the 5-day-update groove (oooohhhh that should be a song. It'd be a weird song but still)!

Either way, I hope it isn't too terrible. I've been sleepless this entire week because I'm too anxious lately. I just need to sit down with some ice cream and read or something.

At this point, the next update SHOULD be on Christmas Eve. We'll see how that goes. I don't know how many of you celebrate Christmas or whatever, though, so happy holidays, my friends! :)

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