Nineteen Years Apart [UNEDITED]

12

I can't believe he didn't tell me anything about it. I exchanged only a few words with him yesterday, my mood stern. However, I remain polite. It's good that I haven't exploded yet.

"She shut me out again," Maya shrugs carelessly like it doesn't matter to her anymore, "maybe you, as the eldest, can do something about it."

Hannah rolls her eyes. "She did the same to me, maybe Amy can help instead."

"No thanks," Amy shakes her head, playing with her fork. I can tell that she still isn't satisfied with her spaghetti.

"Are you still hungry, Amy?" I ask her with a look of concern on my face.

Amy chuckle, "Maybe."

"I can go cook you something, Amy." Ashton offers, finally speaking up for the first time this evening, "come on, let's go to the kitchen. What do you want?"

"I can cook for her, Dad." Hannah shoots Amy a genuine smile, who looks pleased, "come on."

"Yay!" Amy takes Hannah's hand as they make their way to the kitchen.

"I'll be in my room," Maya dismissively announces, leaving the scene.

Oh, great.

Ashton and I are now left in the dining room, silently eating our meal. The atmosphere in the room has definitely changed. I can't concentrate, and I can tell he has a lot in mind too.

When Ashton stands up from his seat, I immediately take his hand without any hesitation. "I need to talk to you about something," I tell him, my voice strict, "you have to listen to me."

"Sure, anything." He wrinkles his forehead, then takes a deep breath, "so what's up?"

"Not here," I reply, "upstairs. Bedroom. Now."

"Um, okay. I'll see you there right after I finish washing the plates—"

"Let Hannah do that, this is important."

He raises both of his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yes," I look at him with a serious look on my face, "right now."

~~~

Our way to the bedroom was silent but deadly, I could tell he had a lot of things in his mind. Me, on the other hand, was thinking of a million ways to confront him about it.

Why did you lie?

Why did you keep it from me?

Did I cheat?

What did you do wrong?

"When were you going to tell me about the divorce?" I ask Ashton as soon as he shuts the door. No point in beating around the bush. Besides, I'm dying to know his reasons.

He pauses for a while and turns pale when the question delivers completely into his mind. He looks at me with a nervous grin. "I'm sorry," he apologizes quickly, "I didn't want to tell you because it would just add more problems to your life especially in your state."

Okay.

That's unexpected.

"And you still want me to remember?" The words tumble out clumsily, my fists clenching. I want to ask him if he knows about me seeing another man, but I fight the urge to question him.

He swallows. Hard. "Of course I do. What kind of question is that?" He looks deeply offended, even when his voice sounds neutral and calm.

My heart starts pounding. I wonder if he can hear it. "If I remember," I start silently, "I would continue the divorce. We would be separated... and you'd be.... I don't know, alone? Sad?"

He avoids eye contact. He looks at himself in the mirror for a little while and turns to me, "but I want you to be happy." He assures me weakly, "I wasn't the best husband to you, I was often busy with work. It was too late to change all those when you mentioned the divorce, and you seeing this guy whose name you didn't mention." He sounds in pain even though he tries to hide it.

I started seeing Draco. Behind your back. I clear my throat. "Who knows about the divorce besides us and my parents?" I ask him anxiously.

"Yinella knows everything," he answers my question after a few missing beats, "my uncle doesn't, but my cousin, Liam, does. He even helps me cope with the idea, although it never works..." his eyes trail off to the ground, breaking eye contact. I don't blame him.

"Once you drop Amy and I tomorrow at the library since you have work and Hannah, Maya and Belle have school, I'm going to take a cab to Cafe de Alessandro to visit Yinella," I bite my lower lip and take a deep breath, "I need answers."

Ashton snaps his head back at me. "You're going to tell her about your condition?" Ashton frowns, "what if she won't believe you?" The thought of Yinella not believing me stings, but I try to be optimistic. If there's anyone in the world who can get me, it's her.

And Mae.

"I got you to believe me," I remark with hope, "I bet I can get her to believe me too."