my brothers best friend

Spy

I woke up the next morning with his taste on my tongue, and the memory of his touch imprinted on my entire body. Each spot of my body has his memory, the memory of last night. The memory of the build-up, like we were climbing up a hill together, the anticipation of reaching the climax, when we fell together in unison, as though we were tumbling down the hill we just climbed.

Sex is a powerful thing. It can cause emotions that you haven't felt before to rise and run through your veins, making you helpless and causing you to succumb to your carnal need for someone. Sex can make or break a couple. It can blow your mind or bore it. It is one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had in my entire life, but it is also one of the scariest.

Being that vulnerable with someone is scary. Letting them see each of your flaws all together, and relying on good positioning and light to hide them. There are no spanx, no body makeup, and no elaborately placed belts to hold things in and keep things tight. But knowing that there is someone that finds each of your lumps, bumps and wobbly bits attractive is a wonderful feeling. It's a feeling that I have never had.

When I was with Marc, I was still afraid of my body. I was afraid that he wouldn't like it, that he wouldn't be attracted to me, and that he would cheat or break up with me because he felt that someone else was more attractive. However, with Ethan, I don't even have to worry about that. I don't even think about my body because I am too busy being in the moment, being with him, connecting with him, letting our bodies move together and encapsulate each other in a frenzied passion.

Sex. Is. Amazing.

"What on earth are you thinking about." Ethan said playfully as he turned on his side and faced me. We were still laying on my Bed with nothing but the sheet covering our naked bodies.

"Just last night..." I said as I smiled while remembering every little detail.

"It was amazing. It was everything and more, you were everything and more. You are amazing Ash." He mused while looking deeply into my eyes, while peering into my soul with this intoxicating look that made me want to fall deeper into him. He is addictive.

"Ethan..." I began as his phone began to ring, ruining our moment of complete tranquillity. He grabbed his phone and answered it and I heard an unfamiliar voice. His face completely dropped, leaving an expression of fear. He quickly jumped up and went into my en-suite to take the call, leaving me an unhealthy mixture of curious and furious.

"What do you want?... Why are you calling?... We had our arrangement, I would come here and find everything out... I know I wasn't meant to do that, and I'm sorry... It won't happen again..." I couldn't figure out who was on the phone with him, but he was clearly unhappy and shocked by their call. I sat up in the bed so that I could hear better.

"Marc, I have to go, it won't happen again." He said and my heart dropped. Marc, as in my Marc? Are they talking about me?

A tear slowly ran down my cheek as I thought of the possibility that he wasn't dead. My feelings towards Marc are so conflicted. One minute I hate him and the next I love him, he was my first love, the one I gave everything to, so I suppose it's only natural to feel like this. I wiped the tear away as I thought of a plan. What should I do? Should I confront him or should I play this out and run my own little spy mission?

Ethan opened the bathroom door and came out looking dishevelled and seemingly unaware that I had hear his secret phone call.

"Hey babe!" He said jumping into the bed beside me and giving me a kiss on my cheek. How snake-like of him, to be on the phone with the father of my dead child one minute, and then to be kissing me the next.

"Hey babe, who was that?" I asked curiously, giving him one chance to come clean, to show his hand, hoping that he wouldn't force me to play my hand.

"Oh, just Courtney, she was looking for some money but I told her to leave me alone." He said while scrolling down Facebook on his phone.

It looks like I've made my choice, it looks like I am a spy now too, and I want to know everything.