Beauty and the Bully.

Realising The Hurt.

Welcome Back my loves!

I'm so cold right now. UK weather got my nose running like Niagara Falls.

I really want to eat pizza and coke whilst binge watching Qauntico but no... I have to be in class.

No I'm serious, my face is numb, it snowed so much today so i'm quite happy.

Sorry for the late update, I have been so busy with editing my other book His Ex Wife.

Remember to comment and vote if you enjoyed. x

Anyways... Off with the update.

|Realising The Hurt.|

Ayla.

I walked for another twenty minutes and miraculously found my way home. As soon as I was in my room I stripped heading for the shower. I let the hot water wash the dirt off my body or in other words Ryder.

'I hated him.' I thought as I scrubbed myself with an amazing mango and peach shower gel. 

'No you don't' My mind retaliated and I almost kicked myself, annoyed for thinking that. After rinsing myself thoroughly I left for my room. I dried my body and applied lotion, I used an old t-shirt to soak up the water from my hair because the my blow-drier wasn't working. Opening my bag I put some M&M's into it and took out my other books from the lessons I didn't have. I went to my closet and looked for something to throw on. I found a light blue sweatshirt with red roses embroidered on the sleeves and wore the same jeans. My hair was a wavy, curly mess but it looked nice so I left it. As I sat down quickly writing an email to my maths teacher about an extension for the essay I couldn't stop imagining Ryder with Leona. They were kissing and I stood in the background. It hurt me, I felt a pang in my heart from jealousy. Why did I have to like him so much?

I shook my head to get rid of the awful mirage and sent the email, I looked at my phone to see the time, it was eight minutes past one. Going downstairs I slid on my converses and requested an Uber. Entering the living room I see mum sprawled out on the sofa bed. Sitting down I snuggle into her and she welcomes me with open arms. "Mum?" I asked and she kissed my head and yawned, "Yes baby?" She replies lovingly.

I don't know why I wanted to ask this but I felt a certain need to.

"How do you know you're in love with someone?" My question was difficult, different but I knew my mum was wise enough to answer this. "When you find yourself breaking and then healing, you know you're in love because if a a person can make you feel such contradicting feelings your heart and soul is owned by them." She says with so much emotion it's intense, raw and I could tell this was from the heart.

My phone beeps and I quickly check to see it was my uber, it had arrived.

"Thank you, I have to go for lesson mum, I'll see you later." I kiss her cheeks and give her a tight hug. "Beslama Warda."She says into my ear. "Beslama mama." I say back and we release each other, I open the front door and enter the car. I ran my hand through my curly damp hair frustrated, I was tired of feeling like this, feeling like absolute shit to then feeling so loved by him.

My phone rang and I quickly picked up."Ayla, meet me at that tree, the one you sit at." I hear. It was Ryder, I hung up not wanting to hear his voice for another second. Did he think I would come running to him?  

I shook my head and after a few minutes the car pulled up to the north entrance of the academy, I got out and went through the gates signing in via the reception. I made my way to the Library hoping to have some time to myself. Once there I pulled out my book from my bag, I found a nice quiet place to sit and began reading. The silence wasn't helping it was rather distracting, I couldn't stop thinking about Ryder and I remembered that he wanted to meet me. I got rid if the thought and went back to reading but I couldn't help but feel bad, guilty. 

I tried to stay here I really did but I was on my way to the willow tree. Curse my kind heart, I was a few steps away and I saw him sat there, he looked upset. I took baby steps and found myself at the tree within the seconds, "Hey." I said and he looked up relieved.

"Ayla." He says and I give a small smile, sitting down he looks into my eyes making me blush.

"Well um I'm here, why did you need me?" I say and hug my knees placing my chin on top. He was struggling or it looked like he was, "Neonata, il mio cuore ha inutilmente senza di te." He says, although the foreign language was so beautiful to the ears I didn't understand any of it. "Ryder you know I don't understand Italian." I state chuckling hoping to lighten the mood, he was being tense but it was no surprise.

"Voglio stare co te, ma come faccio lo andra portarvi via da le mie braccia." Now I was getting a little annoyed, he knows I didn't understand so why is he continuing. "Ryder what are you saying." I asked frustratedly, he stared at me with sadness, helplessness, what was going on?

"Anche se sara soddisfarmi avvezzo assere sufficiente, mi serve un ultimo bacio." He said with such sadness I myself felt sad, I wanted to know what he was saying, why was he so sad. He leaned in and kissed me, I didn't refuse, how could I? His lips were addicting, he caressed my lips with his with so much emotion, it was vigorously pleasurable. I was about to wrap my hand around his neck when he released leaving me wanting more, I was surprised, why did he let go?

"Se non lo fermo mio cuore si sentira angoscia per il resto della mia vita." He got up and walked away leaving me stunned.

I sat there confused, I didn't understand what was happening, I felt as if he had left me but we were not even together, my stomach turned and my heart tightened. The bell rang and I stood up brows furrowed, why was I hurting?

As I walked to class I sat down in my seat, I hadn't realised it was business but when I did I looked behind to see an empty seat, Ryder's seat.

And as I looked at that empty seat I realised that,

I loved Ryder Costello.

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So... Did you guys enjoy?

Here are the translations.

Beslama Warda.- Goodbye flower. (Moroccan Arabic.)

Beslama Mama.- Goodbye mum.(Moroccan Arabic.)

Neonata, il mio cuore ha inutilmente senza di te.- Babygirl without you my heart has no purpose.

Voglio stare co te, ma come faccio lo andra portarvi via da le mie braccia. -I want to be with you, but how can I, he will take you from my arms.

Anche se sara soddisfarmi avvezzo assere sufficiente, mi serve un ultimo bacio.- Although it will satisfy me it wont be enough, but I need one last kiss. 

Se non lo fermo mio cuore si sentira angoscia per il resto della mia vita.-Treasure if I don't stop my heart will feel anguish for the rest of my life.

Some deep words from Ryder? What do you think is going on?

Thankyou so much for reading, we are #100 in Teen Fiction! That's incredible even if we will be back to 150 by the morning.

Not edited.

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Until next time...

With love,

Amara.