Because of you (Demi Lovato fan fiction)

Why it is what it is

Megan let me in and just sat there on her couch crying! She looked at me like I cheated! So sad and broken and disappointed! I walked over to her and sat beside her. This lump in my stomach hurt so much, but I know she felt so much worse than me.

M: “Justine I love you so much! I feel like I can’t breathe anymore! I never felt like this before!”

J: “Megan! I never wanted to hurt you! I know I did and I am so incredibly sorry! I don’t know why I did that to you!”

M: “Did you ever have feelings for me? And please be honest. At least you owe me the truth now!”
I sighed and looked at her. Tears were running down her cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy.

J: “I had feelings for you, still have! But I don’t love you Megan! I wanted to love you because this longing I have in me of being in a relationship, letting myself fall completely, being just me is so strong. But I know now that I can’t fulfill this feeling with you! And I am so sorry! I never wanted to hurt you! When I met you again I felt these butterflies. They were back and it was great. But with every day that passed those butterflies left too. And I forced myself to believe they were still here. Because Megan you are an amazing person! I admire you! But I don’t love you!”
I grabbed her hand and she laid her head on my shoulder.

M: “I am sorry too! I wanted it so badly! But I already knew that you didn’t love me the way I love you! I don’t know why, but I felt it. And seeing you with her tonight just confirmed it!”

J: “I don’t want to talk about Demi now! I just want to leave you with the feeling of knowing that none of that is your fault! You deserve flowers on your doorstep and coffee in the morning. You deserve notes left on your nightstand and ice cream Sundays at 3 am. You deserve honesty every day and to be kissed every hour. You deserve to be reminded how beautiful you are. But I am not the one that can give you all of that! But Megan she is out there, searching for you! You will find her and you will know that this, us, was never meant to be!”

M: “I need to let go of this false hope that you will change your mind and come back to me, right?”

J: “Yes! That is right! And I apologize again! Because it was never my intention to hurt you! I am sorry I did though!

M: “I am wishing you the best Justine! Because you deserve all of that too! And I hope she will be the right one! Take good care of you! I will always love you!”
She kissed my cheek and walked into her bedroom. And I finally left her, let her behind and walked out of her apartment, out of her life.

Lucas

After Justine had finished she just cried while I was holding her in my arms. I didn’t say anything, I just held her tight, trying to comfort her with my presence. Finally she fell asleep. I still held her in my arms, watching her breathe in and out, drying the last tears that left her eyes.

I know that she felt bad and guilty. Justine is one of the good ones. She doesn’t stand for injustice, she isn’t hurting people on purpose. But almost 2 years ago someone broke her heart so badly. I think this is the reason why she isn’t able to let herself fall when she finds someone new. She doesn’t trust people that easy anymore.  She hurt Megan so much and was endlessly sorry for that. 

Justine and her then-girlfriend Anna were together for 3 years. They already moved in with each other and I can claim that they had a wonderful life. Both were studying at the University in Vienna. They were really active in their free time, met friends, went out, had a lot of fun. Everything seemed to be perfect. People loved them together, even both of their families were totally comfortable with them.
Jody and I as Justine’s best friends knew, that in their last year some things changed though.
Anna and Justine started to talk a lot about their future. Both of them were in the end of their studies and just wanted to plan their future together. Things changed because of that. They had different expectations about their lives. Justine wanted to marry one day. Not that soon, but one day. And Justine also wanted to settle down somewhere to have kids. She didn’t plan that any time soon, but for her it is something, she really wishes for her future. Anna was different. She didn’t want that, under no circumstances. Not at this time or somewhere in the future. She wanted to travel the world, stay independent and free.
Anna wanted to move to another country after her graduation too, not only for a year, but for a lifetime.  Something that wasn’t conceivable for Justine. They talked and discussed about everything sometimes, but they never agreed and a compromise seemed far away.
But although they had their dissension about those topics they loved each other truly.

That changed a week after Anna’s graduation. Justine came home from work that evening and noticed immediately that something was wrong. Anna had packed all of her things and personal stuff from the apartment they were living at. She wasn’t there, she went without saying a word, without a leaving note. Nothing.
Jody and I were there during this night. And we were there the nights after that. Justine was broken. She was so hurt. No one ever hurt her that much. They spent three years of their lives with each other, shared so many adventures, stories, moments and feelings, but Anna just left and never came back.

Justine tried everything to contact her and finally after a month Anna gave in and met her at a restaurant. Nothing changed though. Anna still didn’t want to come back. But she apologized and tried to explain her point of view. Both of them developed in different directions. Although her way to end the relationship was childish, rude and cruel, she was right. They wouldn’t have been happy with each other. You don’t have to share the same opinion on everything, but at least the main goals in life should be the same. Anna left that evening, she never came back. Justine and she don’t have contact anymore.

Anna said something so sad but hopeful to Justine, that made this break up easier for her. It was like a goodbye present to Justine, I appreciate a lot too:

 “When you break up with someone, sometimes it doesn’t mean that you don’t love them anymore. Sometimes it means that you love them enough to let them go because you want them to be happy and you realized that you are just not able to be happy together.”

I know, I lknow it is a filler chapter! But I thought it is important to explain why it took Justine so long to realise everything! Some things just need to develop and grow step by step! So be a bit more patient! Thank you all so much! Oh gosh, it means everything to me, that people read this story and some even like it! AAAAA!!!!! Thanks!!!