Loving A Deformity

Chapter 34

***

That Saterday felt better than the previous ones. They felt better and happier knowing they weren't avoiding each other all this time. It was almost like the good old days before they liked each other. It was refreshing.

In fact, it went so well, Cera was smiling about it into Sunday while she was dress shopping with the girls. Cera wasn't even focused on the beautiful yellow single strap knee length dress before her. All she could think about was the sound of Alec's laugh and his amazing smile. She loved the way he looked down, away from her look, as he laughed as if embarrassed. She loved the way he talked about everything. How he called her beautiful and how he talked about what he was passionate about. She loved how he was picky with his desserts (the guy simply refused things he didn't think he like), and how he could either be her motivation to get work done or the reason she didn't. She loved how he was there for her when she needed and wasn't afraid to tell her something that might hurt her. She loved his commitment and loyalty. She loved so much about him.

Cera sighed to herself. She knew she didn't have some infatuation with Alec like in the fifth grade. She really, sincerely, liked him. It was both comforting and concerning to know that. On one hand, she liked that she wasn't just think about him in an artificial sense- just looking at his good qualities. Cera already knew she accepted all his bad ones as well and still felt strongly for him.
"You like that one?" Kiley randomly showed up next to Cera, making her jump a little as she abruptly escaped her thoughts. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you." Kiley laughed. Cera grinned.
"It's okay. Uh, yeah. I think I'll try this on." Cera grabbed the hanger and tried to go but Kiley stepped in her way.
"Hey, wait." Kiley said. "Can I ask you something?" The question was already personal and made Cera uncomfortable. However, she complied.
"Uh, sure." Cera said, relaxing her posture. Kiley looked around to see the other two girls on the opposite end of the store. Quickly, Kiley whispered to Cera,
"You like Alec again, don't you?" The question made Cera go wide eyed.
"Am I that obvious?" She blushed.
"You've both been acting a little weird, hon. I haven't seen you two this distant from each other since last year- before you started being friends." Kiley said. Cera blinked and looked away. What could she say to that? It hurt her heart people saw them as growing distant. Luckily, that wouldn't last long since things were better now. Still, Kiley noticed Cera liked Alec again. That wasn't good at all.
"I'll get over him." Cera said with a nod. "It's just a crush. I'll be fine." Kiley pressed her eyebrows together in confusion and crossed her arms.
"Why the hell would you want to get over him? It's obvious he likes you back- just ask him out."
"What?" Cera narrowed her eyes. "No. Never. Alec doesn't like me and I'm not asking him out. We are good friends and that's all we will ever be, okay?" Cera raised her voice slightly at her.
"Why not?!" Kiley asked.
"I told you! He doesn't like me like that and never will! It's not your business anyway so just leave me alone!" Cera grabbed her dress and walked off to the dressing room. Kiley sighed. She had that coming, but it still hurt her. After giving Cera a minute, Kiley walked back to the dressing room to see her pouting in an unzipped dress. Kiley walked up behind her and smiled.
"Mind if I help you?" She offered. Cera didn't look at her but nodded. Kiley zipped it up and looked at Cera through the full mirror. They both stood in front of it. "Wow, Cer." Kiley smiled and chuckled. "If Alec saw you right now, he'd probably confess immediately how he likes you."
"He doesn't like me, Kiley." Cera spat. "Thank you for helping me, but get out. I'll get someone else to help me unzip it. Then I'm leaving." Kiley looked at Cera.
"Cer-"
"No, just... STOP! OKAY?!" Cera turned to face Kiley and glared intensely. "I don't know why your trying to wiggle your way back in my life but stop! Stop telling me Alec likes me and stop trying to involve yourself in my business!" Cera suddenly had tears in her eyes. "I trusted you! You hurt me and somehow expect me to just forget everything because you're trying to hook me up with your ex? I gave up on love because of what Ben did to me and you went behind my back and screwed him! You betrayed me! Don't you understand that felt so much worse than anything Alec has ever done to me? I never expected anything out of him after he started tormenting me. That was normal and when I had an opportunity to end it, I did. Everyday, Alec makes up for what he did by being the very thing you weren't. He is my friend. Do you even know what that word means?!" At this point, both girls were crying their eyes out. Cera stopped her words for a second to breathe and think about what she was going to say next. "I missed you so much!" Cera cried, shocking Kiley a bit. "I missed you everyday and wanted to forgive you but I just didn't want to hurt again! DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS TO WANT TO FORGIVE BUT BE TERRIFIED TOO?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW?!" Cera almost yelled.
"Cera!" Kiley didn't waste a second. She grabbed Cera and pulled her in a hug. Cera gripped her back. "I'm so sorry, Cera! I'm so sorry!" Kiley said as they cried on each others shoulders.