i need you | in stereo

十一 | ethan.

i opened my eyes to see nothing.

literally, i couldn't see anything. it was dark, and even if i tried to squint i couldn't see anything through the darkness. i could barely make out the shape of my palms in front of me.

"where am i?" i ask myself softly. "what?"

"ethan!" i hear a voice yell from behind me.

i whirl around, and i am taken aback by the sudden burst of light that shined in my eyes. now, it was too bright, and i could barely see.

"who's there?" i call out.  "hello?"

a figure of a man comes running forwards, towards me. "ethan!" he yells. "ethan! oh my god."

the voice sounds familiar. a voice that i was so used to hearing. i couldn't think of a name, or a face to match the voice to. but i knew that it was someone i knew, someone i loved.

squinting through the bright light, i see the man, clearer this time.

"ethan!"

it's chris.

he practically tackles me to the ground, wrapping me in a hug. "ethan, oh my god."

"chris, what?" i ask confused. "what's going on, where are we?"

"you didn't hear?" he asks, pulling me up. "the doctors called. about jakob."

the tears that fell from his eyes glistened in the bright light.

"he woke up."

my eyes widen in shock.

"he- he- what?"

"he woke up, ethan. jakob. he's awake."

i opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. i was in shock.

jakob delgado woke up.

"i talked to him earlier," chris says, snapping my out of my own thoughts. "he's recovering. the doctors said that they can discharge him soon."

i nod quickly, taking in all the information.

"he- uh- requested to see you."

"he..." i trail off. "did he? actually?"

"yeah... he said he wanted to talk about everything with you. like your fight and the studio..."

"oh."

i scratched the back of my neck awkwardly.

"can you take me to see him? please."

chris nods, and grabs my arm. he pulls me to the source of the bright light , and i close my eyes after they started getting sore looking at the brightness.

"we're here," chris says.

i open my eyes to see we're in a hospital room - jakob's. the familiar sight of the plain white walls greeted me.

chris pointed to the white curtain, the one jakob's bed was behind. i gulped and walked forward, my hands shaking slightly at the fact i was about to see jakob again.

"he-hello? is someone there?" a voice croaked out.

jakob.

he was awake.

i shook my head and with a shaky hand, i pulled back the curtain.

my eyes widened.

jakob really was awake.

he was lying down in his bed, and he definitely looked a lot better than the previous visit to the hospital. a bit of colour had started to return to his skin, and the purple tint of some of his bruises had started to fade away.

his eyes widened at me.

"eth-ethan?" he breathed out. "hi...uh..hey."

i smile awkwardly. "um, hi."

a little laugh escaped from his lips. he smiled at me and held his arm out.

"can you come here?" he asked. "i want a hug, please."

i laugh nervously and step forward hesitantly to jakob. i gently wrapped my arms around him, trying to be as gentle as possible.

"hey, etho." he whispered in my ear. he broke away from the hug, and looked at me in the eye. his brown eyes shone brightly in the sunlight that streamed in through the window.

"i'm not mad..." he starts. "and i wanted to apologise-"

"what?" i say, cutting him off. "i'm the one that should be sorry, jakob not you. i started the fight."

i sat down on the bed next to jakob. he started to fiddle with the bands on his wrists.

"but i yelled at you three nights before," he insists. "i'm sorry, ethan. forgive me? please?"

i smile lightly. "i'll forgive you if you forgive me. i'm sorry too, jakob."

he smiles at me and moves to rest his head on my shoulder. i pat his head lightly and he laughs.

it felt so good to have him with me again. we could go back to normal. we had another chance, another shot to start again.

"hey, ethan?"

"yes?"

"i love you."

i remove my hands from jakob's hair. "you-you what?"

"i thought you would've heard me the first time," he laughs a little at himself. "i love you, ethan karpathy. i really do. and i'm so thankful i have another chance of living."

i laugh in disbelief. "god, wow. i never expected this."

he laughs and looks up at me. he kisses my cheek softly and then moves his head back to its original position on my shoulder.

jakob delgado loves me.

jakob delgado.

loves me.

"ethan!"

everything around me starts to fade away.

jakob is gone.

"ethan!"

suddenly i'm back in the dark empty space i was in the first place.

"ethan! wake up!"

———

i bolt upright, surprised to find myself in chris' bed. my palms and t-shirt are drenched in sweat.

"what? where-"

"sorry to startle you," chris says. "but we're going to visit jakob at the hospital soon. just to check up on how he's doing."

my eyes widen.

"jakob! what...oh-"

"yo, chill out." chris says, confusion clear in his voice. "are you okay? and what did you dream about? you were like, giggling and smiling in your sleep. kinda weird but-"

"what do you mean? i wasn't dreaming-"

the realisation hits me.

jakob didn't wake up.

jakob didn't tell me he loved me.

it was all just a dream.

———

long update wow