Heartbreak Hotel

Nightrain

WARNING: Brief mentions of death...

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Axl turned over, restlessly, in his sleep. His skin was adorned with goosebumps, and he shivered. Behind his closed eyelids, his eyes flickered in a wild manner. All this occurred in his sleep, and he would have no conscious memory of it when he awakened.

He saw her again. She was simply beautiful. Her hair glistened in the moonlight from overhead, and he ran a hand gently through it, keeping his other hand lingering on the wheel. He whispered something he knew she heard for sure because she giggled:

"I already know I'm beautiful, but thank you," she said.

Axl grinned. "It's not a problem, baby, not one at all." He turned onto the next street.

"You're not too bad looking, either," she teased.

He laughed and continued driving.

He didn't see it coming; he didn't see anything at all but a sudden, blinding white light. He heard somebody scream and cry out in some form, and it startled him. A vision of a deer in headlights flashed in his mind.

Then, his eyes opened.

Or, at least, he thought they did.

He still saw a bright white light, but it dimmed and his eyes registered what was in front of him.

A hospital room. He was in a hospital room.

"Holy shit!" he cursed without thinking.

"Relax, relax, just calm down," the doctor lingering next to him said.

"Where is she? Where? Where?"

"Mr. Rose, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to calm down again or -"

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"I'm sorry, but -"

Axl sat up suddenly and grabbed the doctor's shoulders. "Just tell me where the hell she is! Please..." He didn't feel the tears in his eyes.

"She's...no longer with us."

Axl leaned back, his hands falling back onto the sheets. He was truly crying now, the tears streaming and falling and producing. He did not know how long he lied there, did not take notice when or if the doctor left, nor how long he lied there in the room with the white light.

The next thing he knew a nurse had came to take his blood pressure and make sure he was alright. He was fine, and he was unsure why he was alright and she was...she was...

"What happened to her?" Axl had croaked out the words at last. He dreaded the answer immediately, and he wanted to sock himself in the mouth for asking it, but he didn't.

The nurse sat down in the chair next to the bed. "I'm not sure it is my place to tell it."

"I don't care, just tell me."

"She..." The nurse begun again. "Another driver hit you."

Axl was silent.

"The driver was sober, but you were lucky. She only hit the one side, and it killed your girl instantly. I'm sorry."

Lucky? Axl thought. This is nothing of the sort...

YOU'RE SORRY? TAKE YOUR SORRY AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR -

The nurse trembled under Axl's fierce gaze and stammered, "I-I - you're going to be released soon, Mr. Rose..."

Axl did not say another word to the nurse until he was alone in the room again.

Once he was released from the hospital, Axl drove to the dealer to sell the useless, ugly piece of crap his girl had died in. He hated that car, and there had been a time he had not. It had been a real hunk of beauty, but it was nothing of the sort now. Axl bought a new car, a gray convertible, but he did not think it would be necessary to let the top down. He did not see what the point was in anything like that anymore. He went to a bar soon after and drank a bit before stumbling home.

He had almost fallen asleep when his telephone rang.

"Mr. Rose?"

"Yes? What do you want?"

"I'm from the police station, and the driver was sober."

"So, can I not press charges?"

"Do you want to?"

Axl said nothing, but hung up. He had already known that information, and it all did was ache at his heart. She was no longer with them. No, he hated the sugarcoated stuff. She was dead, dead.

Gone.

He had fallen asleep, with fresh tears, still, and he awoke to get another drink. Sometime, he had sobered up a small amount and had just drove and drove and drove. Sometime, he had seen the burned-out lights that read Heartbreak Hotel and had pulled into the lot. Sometime, he had checked in, picked out one of the identical bland rooms, and started a life with other heartbrokened fools who had their own problems. Sometime, he had woken up after having the same dream, the same ugly flashbacks, the same dream he wished was only a dream. And he had knocked over the liquor bottle, not bothering to pick up the broken glass. His hand ached, but he didn't care.

Heartbreak Hotel was his home now.

He had hit rock bottom, and he wasn't sure it could get any worse.

She was gone, and he wasn't.

He missed her, but he knew she would want him to do well, be happy.

She would want him to carry on, so he did, even if it hurt, especially if it hurt.

Axl knew that, so why was it so hard to stick to her words?

He loved her, still. That was why he had woken up in tears, said her name, and seen the light again.

The light always came after the darkness, something that may have been a good omen to some people, but it only reminded Axl of what had happened.

And he knew he could never change that.