Lipstick Lullaby

Chapter Twenty Three

"Paano pag hindi nila matanggap si baby?" A hint of worry flashed across her face.

"Bakit naman hindi? Anak ko ito. Tatanggapin nila ang anak natin ng buong puso. Kung meron kahit isa sa pamilya ko ang hindi tumanggap sa anak ko, then I won't consider him or her as my family anymore." I sincerely told them. But I knew deep inside that that would never happen. My parents had already accepted my child with Saskia and Mama and Dad occasionally ask about her pregnancy. Mama would always ask me if I had already check on Saskia and our baby, she even recommended her own OB for her. Although my sisters don't know anything about this yet, I knew would openly accept my child with Saskia. We're family and family will always be there for each other. No matter what. That was what our parents had instilled in me and my siblings. 

"Just give me a little more time and then I will let every one know about our baby. Iyon lang ang hinihiling ni Hazel mula sa akin." Suddenly I felt a lump in my throat. I heaved out a heavy sigh and kissed her tummy. As painful as it is, I had already accepted that Hazel and I would never get back together again. Kung ipagpipilitan ko, I knew I'd hurt her even more. She deserved so much better than me. 

I cry myself to sleep every night, thinking of all the damages I'd brought into their lives: Saskia's, Hazel's, and my child's. I didn't like disappointing people. I didn't like hurting anyone. But I keep making all these bad decisions and I couldn't help it. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve good things because I ruin it.

Naiintindihan naman kita, 'no. Ipakilala mo man si baby o hindi, okay lang sa akin. Ang gusto ko lang naman maging maganda ang buhay niya." She smiled a genuine smile.

"Of course, our baby will have the best life I could possibly give." I stood up to level with her. 

"Kumusta na si Hazel?" There was hesitation in her tone when she asked me.

My throat constricted when I heard Saskia say her name. I had been trying to restrain myself from giving her a call for the past few days. I really miss her but I knew this was the best for both of us. 

"We haven't really spoken." I answered.

"Ganon ba?" I could feel the guilt in her tone. "Pasensya na, Migs ha? Kung may magagawa ako, kung gusto mong kausapin ko si Hazel, gagawin ko."

"No, it's not your fault." I shook, holding her face in my hands as I lowered mine to hers. Idinantay ko ang noo ko sa kanya. 

"Akala ko tapos ang pelikula. May shooting pala dito." Her Ninang said when her family walked in on us. We instantly pulled away from each other like two teenagers caught kissing by their parents.

"Kuya Migs, wala kang dalang pagkain?" Yuka asked.

"Meron kaso hindi para sa'yo. Ikaw talaga ang kapalmuks mo." Saskia's face scrunched in annoyance.

"Hindi ako nagdala kasi aayain ko sana kayong lumabas." 

"Talaga, Kuya?" I could hear the excitement in her voice.

"Saan tayo pupunta, Kuya?" Cosme asked.

"Mamasyal, kakain sa labas, and maybe buy things for the baby." I smiled, my eyes lowering to Saskia's stomach.

"Excited ka masyado. Hindi pa nga lumalaki itong si baby, bibilhan mo na agad ng mga gamit." Saskia chuckled.

"Ngayon pa lang gusto ko na malaman ng baby natin kung gaano ako kaexcited na makita siya. There's nothing in this world I won't give for our child." I said.

"Tama na yan drama na yan. Mag-ayos na tayo. Aalis pa tayo, di ba? Ano'ng oras na, o?" Her Ninang Jodie said.

"Hoy, bakla! Wala kang raket ngayon?" Saskia's mother asked.