A Brief History of Falling for Billy Hargrove [harrington x hargrove]

11.

The first time Steve told Billy he loved him was way different from what he had imagined it being like. They were sitting on the railing of one of the many balconies Steve's house seemed to have, their legs dangling dangerously over the edge. Steve found his eyes lingering on the side of Billy's face, watching the other boy bring a cigarette to his lips, marveling over the way light was reflecting on his skin, tingeing it with blue and green and red and making it so damn beautiful. His chest tightened when Billy turned his head to look at him. His lips were curled in a bemused smile. Steve was one of the very few people who were allowed the honor of seeing Billy's real smile – not the cruel, angry thing he wore as a defense mechanism, but the small movement of lips, barely noticeable as he bowed down his head a little to hide his eyes that were glistening with something raw and genuine.

Steve reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Billy's ear. "I love you," he whispered because it felt right to say it then and there, quietly in the utter serenity only true midnight could carry, for no one but Billy to hear.

Billy's back stiffened. He looked down at his hands, calloused and scarred and all kinds of fucked up and then he moved his gaze to Steve's, whose were just as bad. And so he looked up, dropped the cigarette and pulled Steve, who was still holding his breath, into a kiss.

He didn't say it back when their lips parted, or when they swung their legs over the cold metal and climbed off, or when he was backing Steve toward the bed, or when he was taking of his shirt. He said it when they were lying in the comfortable silence, in the space between when their bodies were calming down from the whole new high and dawn, when everything sounded twice as loud and true. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Steve's shoulder. "I love you, too. You know that, right?"

Steve inhaled sharply, exhaled slowly. He let his eyelids drop, let the moment be engraved into his memory forever.

"Yeah, I know."