Just Me

492 9 11

gnarlyhoe द्वारा

लेखक: gnarlyhoe

Part 2 to 'Dan and I.'
A lot of people seemed to like it, so here it is!

1170 Words

Leaving the little Starbucks cafe, I walked down the street back to the apartment. It had been a good hour, the time passing rather quickly as I scrolled through more pictures of Dan and I. My phone was now shut off, clutched in my slightly cold right hand as my left hand held a hot chocolate. I sighed, my warm breath forming a cloud in the cold misty air. I giggled childishly at the little puffs of breath forming. I stopped once I realized I was back in front of the apartment building. I looked to my right at the parking lot, and sure enough, Dan's slick black car was parked front and center. I rolled my eyes at the sight of it. Not at the car itself, the car itself is beautiful. I rolled my eyes at the person who owned it.
I'm not going to lie, I'm tempted to turn around and leave. Go to Zoe's or Phil's flat, or anyone's, really.. But no, this is my apartment too. It's Dan and I's apartment, and I'll come and go as I please. I stormed up the stairs courageously, my eyebrows furrowed. I finally stopped at our door, slipping my key into the lock and turning it, unlocking the door. I stepped in, only to see a girl straddling Dan's lap as they made out on the couch. The couch that Dan and I watch anime on.. They broke apart and both turned to look at me. Both faces of shock and guilt.
"Who are you?" The girl asked, quite rudely might I add. "His roommate." I waved my keys in the air. "Y/N, would you mind leaving for like, an hour? Rachel and I were just about to head up to my room." Dan hinted at me to leave. I just smiled and nodded my head no. "Nope, this is my apartment too. I can do whatever." I said, popping the p on the word nope. "I'll be up in my room." I said before taking a sip of my hot chocolate, making my way up the stairs to my room. I slammed my door kind of harshly behind me, but I really didn't care. I set my cup on my bedside table, laying down on top of my covers. I plugged my headphones into my phone and picked out my favorite song from Billie Eilish. It's called 'Idontwannabeyouanymore.' I turned my volume up to max and bobbed my head up and down with the song.

'Don't be that way
Fall apart twice a day
I just wish you could feel what you say
Show, never tell
But I know you too well
Kind of mood that you wish you could sell.'

I hummed along to the melody, taking in every relatable word. My foot tapped to the beat and my heart sprung to life with the rhythm.

'If teardrops could be bottled
There'd be swimming pools filled by models
Told a tight dress is what makes you a whore
If "I love you" was a promise
Would you break it, if you're honest
Tell the mirror what you know she's heard before
Idontwannabeyouanymore.'

I couldn't help myself. I started singing softly along, still trying to not be a bother to the two heart breakers next room to me.

'Hands getting cold
Losing feeling's getting old
Was I made from a broken mold?
Hurt, I can't shake
We've made every mistake
Only you know the way that I break.'

I guess I got too loud or something, because I heard a knock at my door. I took out my headphones and paused the music quickly. I went to my door and opened it, revealing a messy Dan who's just in his boxers. I raised my eyes brows curiously, silently asking him 'what the fuck do you want?'
"Y/N, please go away somewhere. I'll pay for your taxi, I'll pay for your food. Just leave!" He exclaimed frustratedly. I just stared at him offendedly. "No. No I will not leave. This is my home too, and I'm not gonna' leave just because you want to fuck a random bitch in privacy." I said blatantly. "Y/N, please." He pleaded with me. "No. If you want to fuck her in peace and quiet, go to her place." I started to slam my door closed but his hand pushed it back open. "I can't do that, her boyfriend is home!" He hissed. "Well maybe she shouldn't be here then, huh?" I raised my voice impatiently. "Y/N, come on. I'm sorry about what happened earlier, just do me this one favor." He begged. "No, and that's final. I don't care what happened earlier, I admitted to you feelings that I have for you and then the first thing I get is another stab in my heart. Fuck that, Dan!" I spat in his face. "Fine! I don't even know why I became your friend in the first place, you never really meant anything to me anyways." He grumbled as he went back to his room, most likely putting on his clothes and telling the girl. I really wasn't focused though, all I could think about was what he said. Instead of just one knife, it felt like a fucking army had stabbed me. I lifelessly closed my door, stumbling back to my bed and falling down on it. Before I let myself start sobbing, I placed my earbuds back into my ears. As I pressed the play button, I heard the downstairs door slam shut. He left. He had left with her, most likely to her place or to a hotel. He'd be back at 5 AM, but why do I care? I let out whimpers and sobs as I shook with my cries. I shakily pressed the play button, the music filling my ears, and my now hurting heart.

I cried, and cried, and cried to my heart's content. My eyes stung and my nose was so full, I could barely breath. My hands clutched my bedsheets and pillows, my tears making everything damp. I couldn't really see anything though, my room was pitch black. The only light was from my phone as notifications flooded in. All from Dan and I's friends. Dan probably told them, he's like that. They're all worried about me, they know I like him.
Dan and I's friends.
Dan and I's apartment.
Dan and I's arguments.
Dan and I's friendship.
But now it really isn't 'Dan and I,' is it? Now it's just me, much to my displeasure. Now it's just me.
Just me..