Aviophobia (Leonard McCoy)

15. Daystrom

She felt her knees buckle beneath her and was overwhelmed at the grief she immediately felt.  Jim had caught her so she didn't actually hit the floor, and his arms were the only thing holding her together at this point.  Kate held tightly to Jim as the tears began falling freely and sobs racked her body.  All she could think about was the fact that this man had become a father figure to her in the past five years, and now he was gone.

Jim sunk down to the floor with her and held onto her as she cried.   Just earlier today she had been pissed that Chris didn't approve her transfer off of the Enterprise.  If she hadn't apologized to him at the bar earlier tonight, he would have died having known that she was furious with him, and that thought only made her cry more.  At the bar tonight, she had no idea that those were her last words to Chris, and she was grateful that she had been honest with him, but she wished that she would have told him more often how much she appreciated having him in her life.

After a few moments, she felt Jim's hands on her face forcing her to look up at him.  She saw the same grief held in his eyes and took some comfort in knowing that Jim was feeling this as deeply as she was.  He wiped the tears off her face and said, "You need to get out of here."

Kate shook her head and argued, "No, I've got work to do."

Leonard must not have been far away, watching over the siblings in their grief, as he stepped into the conversation and said from above them, "Kate, we've got it here.  You need time to grieve."

Kate looked up and saw the sympathy in his eyes and felt tears return to hers, so she nodded and looked back at Jim and said, "You should get out of here, too."

Jim shook his head now and said, "I might be needed to give a report..." but Kate cut him off and said, "You can still give a report tomorrow.  Right now I don't need to be alone.  I need you," and ended with tears coming back into her eyes and a quiver returning to her voice.

Jim hugged her close and then helped her stand up and said, "We need to find Spock and let him know where to find us if he needs us," then turned to Leonard and asked, "Bones, you seen Spock around?"

Leonard shook his head before saying, "Not since I first got here, but you know he's still around here somewhere."

Jim nodded said, "Yeah, see ya,  Bones," and held onto Kate's hand and began leading her away.

Leonard grabbed Kate's other hand and said, "Wait, just a second."

Jim turned and looked at her, almost as if to ask her if this was okay, so Kate nodded and happened to see Spock over Jim's shoulder as she did, so she said, "Spock's over there.  I'll catch up to you in a sec."

Jim squeezed her hand and nodded, then went over to Spock, so Kate turned her attention back to Leonard, who was still holding her other hand.  She knew that she should probably ask him to stop, especially after their mistake earlier tonight, but it was too nice to have some form of comfort with Jim not beside her anymore.

She looked up at Leonard and saw his eyes soften as he took in her appearance.  He squeezed her hand gently and said, "I'm so sorry, Kate."

Kate felt tears coming to her eyes again and squeezed them shut for a moment before looking at Leonard again and saying, "Thanks, Len," then didn't know what else to say after that.

He seemed to struggle with words for a moment, then settled on saying, "I'm, uh, also sorry for earlier tonight."

Kate, in spite of the grief, felt her stomach flutter with memories of the kisses she had shared with Leonard, and decided to let him off the hook as they had both been at fault in that, and said, "Don't be.  We... We weren't in our right minds.  We both know sober that neither of us would have done that," then felt sadness fill her again as the reality of her words set in.  Tears sprung to her eyes again, and she really wasn't sure if it was still because of Chris or knowing that Leonard regretted a drunk mistake.