Covet {Yuumika/Mikayuu}

Kind but Hurtful

It's all Mikaela manages to read before bursting into embarrassment and asking for privacy. He had already been flushed with excitement before he had even begun to read. Neither René of Lacus had ever seen him that flustered.

"He looked so...cute," Lacus then mumbled, mostly to himself but without stopping to consider if René hears, "I couldn't even be mad about it."

René glares at Lacus and Lacus sobered up from his affection faster than he had ever before.

"Cute" wasn't the word for it. René saw the appeal of watching Mikaela fluster. Watching the red spread to his unhidden right ear where he had tucked hair behind it. Watching the soft red fall low to his neck and then dip down into his shirt to his chest. It left one wondering where the red would stop.

René isn't blind and he is no idiot. Lacus isn't blind and he is no animal. René knows this, but a part of him can't help but want to keep Lacus from looking at Mikaela at all. More so when Mikaela thinks of the man. The logical side of René says it's to protect both Mikaela and Lacus. Mikaela gets privacy. Lacus does not have to grind his teeth and watch Mikaela move his lips to soundlessly mouth another mans name.

He sends Lacus away with the excuse of teaching him how to care for the things he does. To ensure that if he couldn't do these things one day, Lacus would be ready to replace him.

It makes Mikaela frown at the thought of brief separation and of a future without René. It makes Lacus look away because he knows what René is doing. Later when they bump into each other before turning in for the night, Lacus doesn't not thank him nor does he call him out for it. He simply nods and walks into his room. Resignation written all over him.

René falls asleep chanting that it is for them both. It is not for the ugly emotion in his chest. Lying has always come easy.

Lacus is gone for a week. In this week, Mikaela spends three days into it by thinking about what to write. No, that isn't accurate. He wrote something as soon as he finished reading the letter twenty-five times. Seventeen times René watched Mikaela turn red and let out a series of incomprehensible sounds and noises. René finds his reassurance in sending Lacus away during this time.

Mikaela does not send his letter as it is because he wants it to be perfect. He writes one and then yanks out another sheet of paper and rewrites it. Opens his mouth to ask René to read it for him but he closes it to mumble under his breath instead. He reddens and René knows he doesn't want to show what he wrote out of embarrassment.

René understands this and so he does not ask to read it. He reads the fifth letter when Mikaela bids him to do it with shaky hands and a scarlet face. That in turn makes Mikaela gather bravery for him to give René the rest of the the letters.

René reads them from newest to oldest. The father back he goes to more genuine they are. He tells Mikaela that, he flushes and looks away.

"S-so I should send...?" He asks without looking at René, he's looking out of the window.

René wants to say the most resent, that is the one which Krul Tepes would approve. The one his Father would approve. The one everyone with a heard voice would approve. It is the most sanitized and tailored to be what is expected of Mikaela.

He tells Mikaela this, albeit in other words. If he said it word for word, Mikaela would never ask him to read his letters again. Knowing he thinks like them in this moment is a little form of betrayal.