Angel with no wings

Chapter 6

Dear Carrie

I made a huge mistake today. 

I had Maths and I was late to class. I ran in a minute before teacher, without looking I just sat down to someone.

After a while I realised that's my neighbour Robin. She and I never talked really since day care. We used to spent so many hours a day together. Thou I didn't know what to say to her. But she smiled so I did the same.

Our teacher said we need to go in pairs. And he also said we can be in pairs as we sit.

So I was in pair with Robin, all thou I haven't seen Lilia wanted to be in pair with me. 

I didn't see her untill I sat down and she looked at me. I saw she's mad and dissapointed. But I went to apologize to her later. 

She said she doesn't care and it's stupid anyways. But her eyes told me a different version. I know I made this mistake totaly silly because I didn't pay attention. 

I bought her flowers after school and brought them to her house. Thankfully she opened the door and I gave her flowers. She said it's okay and that I must of really not pay attention if I said so.

But that's not the worst mistake I made today.

After that we had this meeting at school with parents. And me being me didn't look at anyone. I am embarassed you could say. My mum likes to wear weird clothes to school and my dad never bothers to show up. 

So as usual I ignored the whole class. Including Lily. I just looked at the floor all time. And this one boy came to me saying something like: " Hey stupid, what's your mum? A hippy?" And everyone laughed. I just felt tears in my eyes.

Someone else came too and he said "Did you lose something? Or you're just looking for your courage?"

Everyone just teased me and then I had enough. Somebody came from behind putting her/his arm on my shoulder. I thought he/she will say something bad to me so I turned aroung yelling on it: 

"Go away from me! I hate you, you asshole. Don't touch me." And I made that horrible angry voice.

But as soon as I looked up I saw it was Lily I was yelling on. She had her eyes full of tears.

And if it can get any worse even Daisy gave me a glare. They both went out of the classroom together. 

It's Saturday tomorrow and I will have to wait till Monday to apologize to Lily. I wanted to go to her house but my mum gave me some sort of detention. 

I am such an idiot.

Wish you were here again. I am alone in my own tears and blood. Yeah I did one little cut because i am useless anyway. 

                                                                                        Love,

                                                                                                         your Luke xx