because of you » a.i. [EDITING]

intro

BECAUSE OF YOU - ASHTON IRWIN / "A ROAD TO DISCOVERY & RECOVERY" /

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"Why do you hate me? I don't understand."

"I hate everyone, you're not special."

I hated everyone because I thought there was no point in my life anymore. I didn't see why I should live when people would ignore me then, when I voiced my feelings, they'd continue to ignore me after I'd laid my cards out on the table or left my heart dangling from my sleeve. I hated everyone because no one had ever wanted me to like them. Nobody had ever wanted to be my friend and I'd never wanted to be theirs. 

Until I met a boy, I didn't think life was worth living. 

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no, this is not centring around a romance. it's a story written by me, for me, that I decided to publish at 14 years old when i felt these things. this story is very personal because i lived it. obviously many things in this are unrealistic as are many stories (cos they're made up) but the many feelings conveyed throughout this are very real. at the time of writing this i identified as asexual, however, the mc in this doesn't disclose her sexuality. 

please see this list if you are struggling with a mental illness, diagnosed or undiagnosed: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/nhs-voluntary-charity-services/charity-and-voluntary-services/get-help-from-mental-health-helplines/

If you're still here and reading this please give my other stories a read, on this account and tossers. it would mean unfathomable amounts. (i.e. a lot).