When I See You Again (gxg)

Treat you better

I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on the good things still in my life. I don't allow myself any more self-pity than that. A little each every morning, a few tears, and that's all.

--

Dear diary,

I'm sorry it has been so long.I think there are just things that I feel frightened to talk about, even to you.

First, I just want to let you know that..

She's back-my best friend, the person I willingly gave my heart to and the person who broke it .

I know I told you that I'm going to move on. That I'm not going to shed another tear because of her.

I swear, I tried to hold it in but I can't. I tried not to. But I just did.

Because I wept, I cried so hard. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I'm not strong enough. I thought I am. But I'm not.

Have you ever cried so hard your hands starts to shake and you can't breathe? Your chest begins to hurt to the point that you badly wanted it all to stop? Because that's what I felt.

I thought the feeling will finally subside once I let them all out. I thought the pain will finally go away.

But it never did.

And now I think I'm going to be around her for a while and it's becoming more and more inevitable.

I'm not afraid of having her again in my life.I'm just afraid of getting hurt again for the same reason.

It scares me.

If only you can hear the words I'm too frightened to say. 

---

I stopped writing.

Sometimes I think that crying and writing down your feelings makes everything just a little bit bearable.

The pain of course is still there.But somehow I feel like I can finally breathe.

I finally closed the diary that I've been keeping for years. I noticed that it's more like a vintage diary now.And I'm loving it even more.

Bound in black leather, pages slightly cracked and dry with age, smells faintly warm and dusty but nevertheless I still treasure the things that I have written in this yellowing stack of paper.

I placed it carefully back to my drawer and was about to head downstairs when I received a call.

'I know I can treat you better than he can
And any girl like you deserves a gentleman
Tell me why are we wasting time
On all your wasted crying
When you should be with me instead
I know I can treat you better
Better than he can'

I chuckled at the ringtone Ally placed in my phone a few months ago. It's a really catchy song so I didn't complain 

"Hey. "I instantly answered with a smile in my face.

"I'll pick you up in ten minutes. Wear something comfortable." I'm about to protest but then she suddenly hung up.

I heaved a deep sigh.

She can be a handful sometimes but she's still my friend and I still love her nevertheless .

Where can we possibly be going? It's already six in the evening. I asked myself.

After a few minutes of rummaging through my closet. I decided to settle for a black leather jacket paired with a simple top, ripped skinny jeans and a white adidas sneakers. I just love black and white. It's really comfortable to wear.

I checked myself in the mirror. I didn't do anything with my hair. I just let it loose which is the way I like it.

That'll do it. I thought.

About time. A car parked in our driveway.

"Hey sis, Allison is here."My sister-Emma shouted right outside my bedroom door.

"Tell her to give me a minute. "I replied while applying a very light make up.

It's not really necessary and I'm completely fine without it but it wouldn't hurt if I put some every now and then.

Once I was done I headed downstairs.

I saw her chatting with my mom. She said something that made my mom laugh.

A smile made its way to my lips. They're really enjoying each others company.

For some reason my mom really likes her.Sometimes it's scary how much they get along.

"Erin honey, what took you so long? You made this young lady wait and that's not how I raised you." My mother gave me a stern gaze but I know that she's just joking.

"Mom,it was only a minute. That doesn't even count. "I complained.

"Don't worry Mrs. Taylor. She's worth the wait. " Ally interjected.

My mother gave a hearty laugh because of what she said.

"She is."She agreed.

Silly. How can she joke like that while my mother's around?

She's really something.

She took my hand and we both headed outside once we escaped my mother who remembered something she's supposed to do.

And up until now.

I still have no idea where she's taking me.

----
Here's a really short update. I hope you like it. School's been taking a toll on me so I've been kinda busy.

But thank you for reading. Please don't forget to hit vote if you like this chapter. No pressure of course.

The quote above is from Mitch Albom and the song is called 'Treat you better' by Shawn Mendez.

I hope you like it. 

Love y'all <3

Xoxo