In the Tardis, where it's smaller on the outside (Book 2 of the New Noblesse)

Bad Wolf Pt 2

"Seventeen, sixteen, fifteen, thank you people. Transmitting in twelve, eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three two, and cue!" I heard the voice say. That voice is realllly creeping me out; it's like the voice of a psychiatrist - all... Calm and 'soothing' that actually is telling you 'get the fuck out of there or you're gonna die by my hands'

Ahem.

"Let's play the weakest link. Anorax, name the basic food stuff that is an anagram of 'beard'." The android turned to some dude next to me who gave a sigh of relief for some reason and answered.

"Bread." Ooh, I totally knew that was the answer. My fingers? Not crossed behind my back, if that's what you were thinking.

"Correct. Fitch in the Pan Traffic Calendar, which month comes after Hoob?" The android asked a dude next to Anorax...weird ass names, all of them...

"Uhm.. Is it Clavadoe?" Came the response.

"No, Pandoff. Kuroi, in Maths, what is 258 - 158?" The android launched straight into the other question.

"100."

"Correct. Rodrick, which letter of the alphabet appears in the word dangle but not in the word gland?" Well...this is boring...

"E."

"Correct. Colleen, in social security, what D is the name of the payment given to Martian Drones?" Boooooooringggg...

"Default." Said some woman across from me.

"Correct. Broff, the great colbailt pyramid was built on the remains of which Old Earth structure?" Kill me please..

'Master, don't jinx yourself.'

'Grr...'

"Uh...touchdown?"

"No, Torchwood. Agorax. In language, all five examples of which type of letter appear in the word facetious?" Aaarrrggghhhhh!

"Vowels."

"Correct. Fitch, in Biology, which blood cells contain iron? Red or white?"

"White." Ooh. Nope, sorry bro.

"No, red. Kuroi, in the 'holovoid' series 'Jupiter Rising', the Grexnik is married to whom?" Dafuq?

"Dunno, enlighten me, please?"

"No, the correct answer is Lord Dravyole." I blinked. Well damn, I was not expecting such an awesomely messed up name...

'Hey, Lucifer?'

'I refuse to respond if you call me Lodr Dravyole.'

'...Aw darn.'

--a little while after--

"So, Kuroi, what do you actually do?" The android asked me. I shrugged.

"I rule the flip side of the world, sometimes using my ninja skills to help... and I travel around too." I said.

"Another way of saying unemployed."

"Nope."

"Have you got a job?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"I'm a ninja."

"Unemployed."

"Nope."

"What is your job?

"I'm a mother ducking ninja for Konoha, goddammit! I've got it in a freaking contract if you wanna see it." I said. The android seemed to be considering. Then her hand raised towards me. I smirked and made my photocopied version of my contract with Saru-chan materialize out of my shadow, successfully freaking approximately 28735287364139746 people out. I put it in her hands, where she burnt it. Rodrick snickered, and it shrugged.