gorgeously wasted

one

I've never been the one to really.. I don't know.. open up to someone?

but as I walk this giant hill with the scorching hot weather and continuous thoughts of me just wanting someone to hear my story and how I feel.

although I don't ask for help for I am stuck inside my own head as I fear I will never get out.

I've tried poems I've tried telling my friends my problems i've tried telling my teachers that I wasn't happy I needed to seek professional help but I just fell down the drain, I've tried everything almost as if it was nothing.
76 cuts on my arm/wrist. I beg for more but my friends have decided I am no longer allowed to cut my own skin, and if I reached 10 days I get a present from my best friend my friend who is very special she's really nice and my boyfriend. Life might seem perfect but for me it's not..