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Y/N POV
I stared into the mirror asking myself 'why?'. Why me? Why did he have to choose me? As if there wasn't already a big enough target on me. This only added fuel to the fire.
As I stared at myself in the mirror I noticed my my flaws staring me back in the face. Slowly becoming more and more prominent. You're probably wondering but just to quickly sum it up, I'm fat.
I'm 5'3 or 5'4 I'm not too sure because its been a while since I've been to the doctor, and almost 200 pounds. 186 to be exact. I know...I'm huge. I've tried everything though. Diets, exercising, fasting, pills, nothing worked. My doctor told me it was genetics and that if I lost weight it would be hard to loose let alone keep it off. So I gave up, but now I'm starting to regret it.
They all hate me. I've done nothing to them but they still hate me. I'd hate me too though. I didn't deserve Kelly and he sure as hell deserved better than me.
I stared in the mirror at my red face as tears ran down it. I swiped my hands under my eyes and wiped my wet hands on my shirt. It didn't do any good as the old tears were all too quickly replaced with new ones. I huffed in irritation as I stared at my thighs and poked my stomach. I hated it. My thighs were huge and they only got bigger when I sat down. Kelly loved them though. To this day I still will never know why. My stomach wasn't as bad but it wasn't flat. My hips were wide and I had pudge in my midsection. I turned sideways and stared at my midsection as more tears made their way down my face. I question my existence at times. Don't get me wrong I love Kelly with all of my heart and the last thing I would ever want to do is bring him any pain, but if I'm doing more harm than good then what's the point? I couldn't kill myself though. I just don't have the guts to. That making me hate myself even more if that was possible.
Kelly was at practice. It ended in about an hour I think. I had sent him a message before practice started to let him know to have a good practice and that I love him. I always text him before practices and games to give him a pep talk and tell him that I love him. My phone screen had come on giving me a false sign that he had read the message and responded. Instead it was hundreds of 'fans' commenting under my post about how I didn't deserve Kelly, how he deserved better, how fat I am, how ugly I am, what a slut I am and so much more. The sad part was that I didn't even deny it. I knew Kelly deserved better and that I didn't deserve him and that I was fat and a bitch. I knew it but having other people point it out just made it so much worse. The last part though, bothered me. I'm not a slut and it hurt to think that someone thought that of me. Kelly was my first real relationship. I grew up watching my older sisters and mom cry about getting heartbroken over boys and that made me distance myself from them. That was until Kelly came into the picture. He stared at me all day the very first day he saw me and would smile and even winked once when I looked over. He broke down all my walls and showed me that not everyone would hurt me. Especially him. But I couldn't help but wonder what he would do if someone prettier, skinnier, smarter, taller, and better came into the picture. Would he leave me behind as a memory? There's no telling what I would do.
My phone screen lit up again. I pushed myself up and sat on the counter top as I read more of the filthy comments raiding my notifications.
@56melolover: Why are you bigger than your boyfriend? 😂
@kiiiiiiraaaah: Kells deserves soooooo much better and he knows it. I'm gonna have to talk to him.
@rainbow.sprinkles: What does Kelly even see in you? 😷
@Z0ee: I know a great liposuction doctor....just throwing that out there.🤣🤷🏽
@xxtweetyxx: Bitch you big as hell and you need to do something with your life and stop living off my man.
