Containing Imperfection

Chapter 1

"Being alone means I can be myself. Being out in public means becoming someone else."

• • •

I'm not in this universe my body's stuck in reverse,
My lungs are always short of breath,
You see these tracks you know the rest.
By face is skuffed my eyes are black...
Where's the point where I turn back.

And I can't help but think that this isn't me...
But maybe they're right... maybe this is all a lie...
And I followed a sign that brought me to my life as I know it...
And I can't find myself cause...

I groggily open my eyes at the sound of the alarm on my phone. The song, Universe by Ghost Town, continued playing and blindly, I grabbed my phone from the night stand that stood next to the bed and turned the alarm off.

The song stopped playing and I placed my phone back to its original spot then turned my body to the right, desperately wanting to go back to sleep. I didn't want to get up. It was 7:00am on a Tuesday and I have school.

I groaned. Just the thought of that place made my head hurt. I pulled the covers over my face, feeling the warmth radiating on me.

School was awful. I honestly don't understand why I have to go, it was just pointless. All you do is just sit in a classroom for forty five minutes every day, listening to teachers running their mouths all day about whatever subject they were teaching. It's just a huge pain in the ass. If I could I would drop out of school.

Sadly, I have to go. The only reason I continue to go is so I could graduate and get a diploma so I could get the hell out of this shitty town.

I snorted at the thought. Me, Carter Kellan, graduating school and getting out of this hell hole. Like that will ever happen.

Not wanting to think about school, I pushed the covers off of myself, finally getting up from my bed and stood in front of my tall length mirror. I look at my reflection and run a hand through my long wavy hair.

I was just in my t-shirt with a black bra underneath as well as some matching briefs. They were the only sorts of clothes I wore to bed. To be honest I just felt comfortable sleeping with them on, I didn't exactly like the idea of wearing cute pajamas.

Continuing to stare at my reflection, I lifted my shirt up and gazed down at my stomach and frowned. I turned to the side seeing how ever so slightly, I was getting a bit skinner.

I wasn't overweight or even the size of a Barbie doll. I just had a bump on my stomach that I called my cookie jar. Weird but eh, had to call it something.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate my body. I weighed around 130 pounds but that was mostly because of my curves and thighs. I just knew I could improve myself so I started running late at night and honestly, it became a huge stress reliever.

Let me get this clear, I wasn't doing this for anyone. I'm not the type of person who cares about what other people thought of me. I was doing this for one person only and that's me, myself and I.

I walked over to my walk in closet, knowing that I should be getting ready for school. I grabbed the collar of my t-shirt that I was wearing, sniffed it and shrugged.