The Way Back

Chapter 26

"Tris! You're back," Shauna says, attempting to push herself up into a sitting position. She holds her arms out to me to offer a hug, and I gulp, unsure what to do.

I go with my instincts and step toward the bed to wrap my arms around her as friends would. "Hi, Shauna," I reply.

"Tris lost most of her memory," Tobias explains bluntly. "We're working on getting it to come back."

"Oh." Her faint smile fades. "I'm sorry to hear that."

There is really nothing to say, so I press my lips together in a polite smile.

"You should sit," Tobias suggests, pulling a metal chair up behind me.

"I'm fine," I argue, though I am having a difficult time balancing on my decent leg. I would never admit it to him, but my other leg is too sore to stand on for more than a few seconds at a time.

He lets a heavy breath out of his nose, his dark, pleading eyes meeting mine. "Please?" he murmurs.

And I can't resist him. So I give in and sink down onto the chair, noticing how Zeke and Shauna have been watching us the whole time. My face heats up.

"Trouble in paradise?" Zeke says.

It starts with a snicker, and then all of us end up laughing the situation off. Zeke is good company to have; I'll keep that in mind. Really, every friend I have met again has been kind and welcoming.

"So, are you feeling better Shauna?" Tobias asks to change the subject.

She shakes her head as the mood of the room flips. "I felt horrible enough when I woke up, and then I found out about Lynn..." she chokes out, holding back tears as she looks up at the ceiling.

I squirm on the chair. I don't know how to help people who are grieving. Zeke doesn't seem to know how either; he bows his head and doesn't say a word.

"I don't know if this will hurt or help, but," Tobias says solemnly, "I was with her before she died."

I stare at the back of his head in an accusatory manner. He never told me that.

But who am I to demand things from him? After our fight, I'm going to have to stay in the dark about certain facts for a while unless I want to contradict the words I threw at him.

Shauna sniffles and reaches up to brush away a stray tear. "Was she—how did she look?"

"Strong. Unafraid."

A pained look crosses her face as she squeezes her eyes shut. Tobias sits down on the edge of her bed as a fresh round of tears pours down her face. She sits up so she can cry into his shoulder, and I watch him run his hand up and down her back gently and hush her for a long time.

xXxXx

Tobias leaves me at the apartment, claiming that he has something he needs to take care of and that he will be back before dinner.

It gives me time to sort through my feelings as much as possible. I don't know why I'm so bipolar: half of the time I'm saying that I don't know him and therefore don't need him, and then the other half I'm wanting his attention and wondering why he keeps secrets from me. Like about Lynn, about the emotions he is dealing with, about where he is going right now.

It is strange. Sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of a smile on his face or discreetly watch him sleep in the morning, and I will be grateful that he is mine—if he even is. Other times I act like we're stuck in this position and think it is more awkward than it needs to be.

Why do I pretend not to like him when I clearly do? He is handsome, he dotes on me, he loves me, and he doesn't ask for anything in return. He waits and waits and will continue waiting until I remember him completely, and from what I do remember he is everything I could possibly want in a partner.