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Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons.
Jessica Lange
Pagkaalis niya, kumain ako, tumayo ako at inayos ko ang sarili ko. Nung pumunta ako sa living room nakita ko ang box na itatapon ko sana. Ang box na naglalaman ng lahat ng binigay sa akin ni Johann. Nakita kong nakaayos na ito. My heart is overwhelmed by emotions.
Hindi lang ang box na yan ang binigay niya sa akin. Binigay niya sa akin ang buong puso niya. Ang buong buhay niya. How could I doubt that?
How could I doubt his love for me?
How could I be angry at him when all that he’s done is to love me, to care for me and protect me?
Seven years. It’s been seven years and here we are, still struggling, still fighting for our love. Or maybe, here he is doing all the fighting.
Dati nagtanong ako, kaya ba hindi kami nagiging masaya ng matagal dahil hindi talaga kami para sa isa’t isa? Na kahit anong pilit namin hindi talaga kami magkakatuluyan. Yes, I doubt our love. I doubt his love for me. Mas pinairal ko ang kahinaan ko. Ang pagdududa ko sa kanya and the superficial love that I knew.
I have never bothered to measure his love for me. Instead, I let my weakness overrule. I let my fear take reign. My fear of getting hurt, my fear of loving again. And by doing so, I’ve hurt him a lot. I’ve hurt him without knowing. Am I now considered unfeeling? Maybe yes.
Is my love for him enough? Masasabi ko na bang mas mahal ko siya kasi nasaktan ako ng sobra? No.
Kasi hindi ko alam na mas nasasaktan siya kaysa sa akin. Hindi ko alam ang sakit na dinanas niya ng dahil sa paghihiwalay namin.
And comparing my love for him and his love for me? It’s like comparing a building to a hut. Why did I even doubt it kung sa simula pa lang inuulut ulit na niya yan sa akin.
