Confusions Of Love

A Million To Stay

   The cold November air hit my slim body as I stepped out my apartment door causing me to pull up my hood and cover my hands in the sleeves of my overly large hoodie. "Damn" I cursed slightly under my breath. I love the cold and all but sometimes it's just too much this early in the morning.

   Rain's house was just three blocks down the road so I took the fastest route and walked quickly. We had a full hour before school started but I didn't want to be in this cold much longer.

   When I got there, I let myself in like I always do. "Rain!" I shouted as I closed the door and slipped my boots off. "Over here," she replied, she was sitting on her couch rummaging through her backpack.

   "Whatcha looking for?" I asked cocking my head slightly and dropping my bad on the foot next to the stairs.

   "My- ugh -charger!" She said pulling her charger out looking proud of herself.

   "Sweet," I laughed and smiled at her, plopping down on the couch. I pulled my phone out of my jeans pocket and texted Andrew.

Mason 8:16 a.m.
Hey, I'm at Rain's house rn I'll see you at school.

I turned my phone off and stuck it back in my pocket. I looked at Rain who was carefully putting her hair into a long braid. Her long dark brown hair twisting together to form a masterpiece on her head.

   If you think about it, hair is insanely weird. It's literally strands of keratin coming out of our heads that people depend on to make them pretty. It's hella weird in my mind.

   "Tada!" Rain said as she finished her braid looking proud.

"Alright let me just do a few things and then we'll go, okay?" I nodded in agreement but was startled when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw that there was a text from Andrew.

Andrew 8:20 am
Okay😘 see you then✌🏽

Even his awkwardness over text was adorable. I smiled down at the message and sent a "❤️" to him. He was probably the cutest person I have ever met.

I looked back up from my phone and Rain was standing in the kitchen getting her lunch together. "Do you want a snack before we go? School starts in just under an hour but I want to go the library before hand so we should leave here around 8:30. Okay?"

"Nah, I'm good. I just brushed my teeth and I'm not hungry. But yeah 8:30 sounds good."

"Did you eat and drink water today?" She asked raising an eyebrow at me. She asked this every once in a while because she loved and cared about me. I used to have terrible eating habits and when I get really stressed or overwhelmed I tend to start doing them again.

"Yes, don't worry. I made myself some eggs and toast and had a cup of water with a tad of lemon in it for breakfast."

"Okay, good. I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to be your Mum. You know that right? I just don't want you to... you know... slip back into old habits."

"I know, I'm not. Don't worry. Please. I'm better now. Much better." She smiled and packed up her lunch, stuffing the lunch bag into her backpack.

I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder. The only 2 mental illness I have are an anxiety disorder and depression. The anxiety and depression just caused my eating habits to get really fucked up.

   Rain picked her backpack up and sat it down near the stairs and then went upstairs to grab a sweater. I began to put my shoes on as she came back down the stairs with an old dark red sweater on.