Chapter 1
There was a vivid picture of a certain man in Isabella's mind. Javier Infante.
He was the only man who had made her forget about all the ghosts of her past if only for a while. It had been a couple of years ago. Kahit kailan marahil ay hindi na niya ito malilimot. At napakaraming pagkakataon na niyang naisip na marahil, kung naging tama lamang ang sitwasyon ay naging masaya sila. Normal.
Javier was a good-looking man. Hindi ito tipikal na lalaki. Hindi ito tulad ng mga nakasanayan niyang lalaki sa mundo ng potograpiya. He was not as sophisticated, nor as superficial, nor eccentric. There was something about him that was purely him, Javier Infante. An ordinary man in many ways, but as a whole very extraordinary.
Napakaraming pagkakataon siyang nangulila rito. At sa lahat ng pagkakataong iyon ay hiniling niyang sana ay hindi naging ganoon ang paghihiwalay nila noon, kahit pa nga kung mauulit ang lahat, marahil ay hindi rin naman mababago ang sitwasyon. Ganoon pa rin ang gagawin niya.
She never told him her real name. She never wanted to get too close to him. Ang mga ganoong bagay ay walang lulugaran sa buhay niyang masyadong komplikado noong panahong iyon. Besides, back then she already had a fiancé, Andrew. She met Andrew in a support group meeting.
Kapwa sila noon hindi komportableng dumalo sa unang meeting. Aftre a couple of meetings, they still were uncomfortable. He asked her to have coffee with him. Hindi naglaon, bumuo sila ng support group na dalawa. If there was one person in the world she trusted with every secret she and her family had, it was he.
And he understood her perfectly. Naging sandalan niya ito parati. Ito ang nag-encourage sa kanyang hanapin ang mga katanungan, kahit kapwa sila mayroong psychiatrist. Ganoon din naman ito sa kanya.
They would often joke about themselves, that they were a nice pair---successful, smart, albeit both missing their marbles.
Of course, they both knew they were not exactly the stereotype lunatics. Nagkataon lang na may mga pang-emosyon silang problema na mas pinili nilang hanapan ng katugunan sa pamamagitan ng pagkonsulta sa isang propesyunal. They both had ghosts from their pasts. Like most people. Ang kaibahan lamang ay handa silang tigilan ang pagtanggi sa sarili nilang mayroon silang problema.
Two months after she left Javier, Andrew passed away. Ni hindi na nga niya ito nagawang ipakilala sa kanyang ina. The death was so sudden. One day his stomach ached and started vomiting. The doctors found a tumor in his colon. The operation was not successful. He died from it.
She felt so very much alone back then. But Andrew's words of support for them both when he was still alive helped her survive.
Dahil wala nang kamag-anakan si Andrew at may will na ito ay sa kanya napunta lahat ng pag-aari nito. Ibinigay niya iyon sa isang foundation na paborito nitong tulungan.
She missed Javier more. She needed him. But she did not want him to get mixed up with her own personal battles. He didn't deserve that.
And now, she was missing him again. More than she was missing Andrew. For it had been clear to her that she was never really in love with Andrew. Lahat ng naisip niyang dahilan noon kung bakit iniiwasan niyang maging intimate dito ay kasinungalingan lamang.
Sapagkat ang iniwasan niyang maganap sa kanila ay nangyari sa kanila ni Javier sa unang gabi pa lamang na nakilala niya ito.
Her body, which she thought would never want to be touched by another, she gave to Javier in complete abandon. And in the same body was her soul---battered and scarred and she thought she could never share with anyone who did not understand or know everything about her. But she wholeheartedly gave to a stranger who didn't even know what her real name was.
