To Amber Crick (✓)

When It All Started

Hinawakan ko ang nakaukit na pangalan.

"Hunt," nangugulila kong tawag.

His first name means 'search' or 'quest'.

Naalala ko tuloy yung una naming pagkikita.

I don't like him, I swear.

He's a gangster. He has a gang at laging nagka-cutting classes.

A bad boy.

He's always on fight. He is an asshole.

He's dating lots of filthy girls.

Naging classmates kami 'nung Grade 8. Lagi ko siyang iniiwasan at ang grupo niya.

They're a dirt of our campus.

But who knows the more you hate, the more you love?

Naging study partner ko siya, at first. Hindi na ko nag-aksayang kausapin siya pero nagulat ako kasi siya ang unang lumapit.

"So, sa'n tayo mag-aaral?"

"Free ka? Wala kang pupuntahang.... away?" For all I know, lalandiin lang niya ako.

Tiningnan ko siya na nakangisi.

I so wanna smash off his face!

"Actually I have, mas importante ka nga lang." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Sa library. At mag-aaral tayo, hindi maglalandian!"

"Oh, love.. Are you suggesting?"

I rolled my eyes at nauna nang maglakad.

At first, it was like a cycle.

Lalandiin niya 'ko, babarahin ko siya.

Mas lalo niya akong lalandiin, mapupuno na ako tapos magwo-walk out, again and again.

It was August of 2009 when he kissed me sa library.

I was shocked at nagalit ako. He said he'll court me.

Naisip ko agad, what I want is a serious relationship and he can't give me that.

Gusto ko perpekto, hindi siya gan'un. Malayo siya du'n.

He always says he likes me, but never did he said he loves me.

Nililigawan niya pa rin ako kahit ayoko.

But love is love even when you deny it.

October 7, 2009. Inamin kong mahal ko siya, but love is not enough.

"How come it's not enough?!"

"I don't wanna date a gangster and an irresponsible guy!"

Totoo. Kung mahal niya talaga ako, magbabago siya. Hindi pa lang sa'kin, para rin sa kanya. Para sa future namin.

It took him a while before he answered.

"Are you telling me to quit fraternity?"

"No. But if you love me, you would," matapang kong sagot.