The Only Exception

The Only Exception Part 2

She grimaced at those words, her tears damped his shirt and she begged him to stop.

[Your parents' divorce had more effect on you than anyone else could imagine. Your parents that broke apart when you were sixteen scarred you forever. From such a loving couple to two strangers that scream every night scared you even until seven years later.]

[How did you know?] She sobbed, the scar she had been hiding for too long torn open, blood splattered everywhere inside of her. She tried to patch herself back up, but the broken pieces were too sharp for her to pick up.

[Your eyes told me.] He answered simply, [Your eyes communicate more than your mouth does.]

She looked at him, leaned on him. For the first time ever, she decided to trusted him and to rely on him.

[I believe I made you try.] He begin again, his tone so unrealistically calm and relaxed it was as if he had practised this conversation thousands of times, [I believe I made you try to trust again. I believe I made you try to love.]

[I want to love you, I really do. You were the first to tell me I was beautiful, the first to tell me I was an angel. The first to tell me you will help me, the first to tell me I will change.]

His eyes reflected the moon, and hers reflected his.

[But my dear, it's too late. I cannot live like this. We are too similar, far too similar to my parents. You always come over and stargaze with me side by side like the way my mama and papa used to do. You play the piano so well, play it without a single mistake just like the way papa used to do. You paint, you draw, you sketch, you want to make a living out of art just like the way papa used to do. Papa used to believe he would love mom forever, he believed no matter what the obstacle will be, with love, they will overcome it together. But things changed, love didn't last the eternity he hoped it would. Papa broke his promise, papa left, papa took all the money and all of mama's hope and left.]

[If similarity is what you're afraid of, then I'll change.] The stars flicked above as the plane that will arrive elsewhere tomorrow passed over their heads. His voice muffled with the flying plane, and with her sobs. [I'll stop buying you things in white. I'll stop playing the piano. I'll stop painting. I'll stop drinking dark coffee and I'll stop asking you for reasons for everything.]

It was then did she realize how lucky she was.

She truly, really was the luckiest woman alive.

For some like him to love someone with so many issuers really is one of a million.

And what had she done to deserve this feeling?

[I'll feel guilty. I'll feel selfish.] The words were said, the decision was made, but her blues eyes pleaded her to stop, [I lost all my hope years ago. Like I said, I'm no angel. I don't belong to your heavenly white world. I pretend to be happy. I pretend to care. I only drink sweet coffee to hide my past. But like you've noticed, I feel bitter inside.]

[But I don't want to leave.]

[I may be crazy but I'm not selfish.] She traced his thin face with her fingers tips, [You don't belong with me. You belong with someone who believes in love. And I can't believe in love no matter how hard I try. I hate the world. I hate relationships. You can't have a future with me.]

[What if I don't care?]

[That's not fair for you in any way.]

[But I know you want me to stay.]

[But I'm not selfish enough to ask you to bear with me until my frozen heart melts. I don't think my heart will ever melt. I may trust you, I may depend on you, I may even love you. But I will always feel insecure; I will always think that one day our love will end. Because I don't believe in love, I don't think I ever will.]

[You don't have to believe in love.] He kissed her forehead gently, [You can look at the world with hatred I wouldn't care. You can feel insecure, You can have doubts. But I won't, and I'll make your troubles go away and I will always be here for you. I just want you to love me.]

[But I never loved anyone.]

[Well then darling I want to be the exception.]

Like the handkerchief that covered the dyed up white tablecloth on their first date, she removed the barrier that was deep into her heart. She pressed her hands over her chest and thought of all the things he had said and did.

So she had been lying to herself all along.

She may have covered up the love with her past like the way she covered the wine with her handkerchief. She may have fooled everyone, including herself that love was never there, like the wine spill had never happened. But deep inside, she always knew, that her love was like the escaped wine. She hid it well. She fooled everyone.

But it had always been there.

And it always will.

For the first time in a long time, she grinned from ear to ear. Her ocean blue eyes unfrozen themselves and the ice in her heart suddenly broke. The knot has been untied; the string has been untangled.

[You are, darling,] she whispered at last, [you are my only expectation.]