Love diary

Goodbye: Ryan L

May 31st 2019.

Dear Ryan:

Ohhh Ryan....your story is definitely one of my favorites.

You were the second boy I loved...even though we never dated, I caught feelings for you so quickly.

August 25th 2018.
I was 14 years old.

The first time I saw you was at my best friends house on her birthday.

The night before I had slept over at her house and the next morning you showed up.

I didn't see you until I walked down the stairs after getting ready for her party which was at the bowling alley.

You were sitting on the couch and we made eye contact as I finished my last step on the staircase, but I looked away quickly because I noticed how cute you were. 

Later on I would find out you happened to be my best friends cousin!!

What a plot twist that was...

Our first conversation was in line for the sky walk.

We somehow struck a conversation and talked about how you play football and how I play softball and our bruises we get. It was a really great conversation honestly.

We talked a very long time and the more we talked the more I fell into your dark big brown eyes.

From then I thought I would make my move so I "accidentally" stayed around you the rest of the night.

We became friends!!

That night we all went back to your cousins house and she had a huge sleepover after.

We would play never have I ever in her room.

The questions went around the room until It was your turn to ask the question.

You were sitting in the corner of her room on the floor. And I was sitting on the end of the bed.

And you looked straight into my eyes and asked

"Never have I ever kissed a boy before"

And at that point I had all 10 fingers up still...and I'll never forget the smirk that left your lips.

There was some obvious tension in the room about that and everyone knew you were basically asking me that question.

You ended up having to live with your cousin (AKA my best friend) because of family problems at your home.

So as wrong as it was, I would frequently come over just to see you...because I liked you.

I obviously couldn't tell your cousin she would kill me.

So I secretly liked you in my own way.

You were always so protective over me and one time we were throwing a ball around and some glass broke

It was my fault the glass broke but you hurried and cleaned it because you knew I was scared to get in trouble.

And when we would play basketball all together outside I had looked at my wrist bc of a bracelet and you thought to hurt me so you stopped everything and asked if I was okay before proceeding.