My Life told on Wattpad

Just the Introduction( nothing good yet)

You know what is funny is when you move you lose everyone and you don't even realize it until you see and feel how lonely you are. I mean losing friends because you did something to get away from a toxic environment. You become a fake friend because you move to the other side of the country to get away from abuse. Nobody knew what was really happening in that house I just had to get out. The life I was living wasn't really me. The me here the one with no friends well now I just feel more lonely than ever. Why I chose to do online schooling I have no clue I regret it now. Ive only regretted very little things in my life. But this, this is one thing I really do regret. I have no one but my sister and my best friend. Everyone who said they were gunna leave or who were supposed to be there when I needed them they all left. The people who said they loved me and that I was everything to them, they left me to. I am just ready to go home and be with the people who actually care about me. Ready to be with the people who will hold me when I need to cry. I have been diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety. I have been stressed nonstop since I started school. For some reason I just cant make good grades. I'm so sick and tired of not having anyone. As you can see no one still cares. You see before I left I had been talking to this guy since march before I left he said that he loved me and I told him I loved him to. For me loving someone is hard because I have been hurt before. So when I got out here we talked every day nonstop for the first month and a half, then it went to talking some what through out the day, now we don't talk ive lost him. He says I haven't but I can feel it when yo love someone and they leave you can feel the hurt of not talking to them. He says that he still loves me and that he still cares about me and that I have nothing to worry about. But you see I don't feel the love or the care that he talks about. I've lost everyone I cared about and that were supposed to care about me. I've lost someone who I told myself I wouldn't love because I didn't want to get hurt again. I love him but in the end I got hurt in the end like I said I was going to. You know those times when you can tell something is going to go wrong, I feel like that but I cant tell what it is about or who. Most of the time I know. That stresses me out to. Those times that you sit there and think about how horrible your life is going. I go to therapy to help but it doesn't seem to be working. I have nightmares every night sometimes 2 or 3 times a night. My dreams that are good I can never remember because they happen so rarely. Now you might be thinking well if they happen rarely then you should remember them, yeah that's what I thought to guess I was wrong again. I tried to push people away because I knew in the end they would leave anyways find new friends new people to love and most of all they would forget the girl that most of them have known since 3rd grade. You know at this point I would rather be in the abusive house and have my friends and act like this never happened me moving to California. Ill drive around and see all these group of teenagers laughing ang having fun and I think that could be me if I was still in Georgia with my friends but im here in California for the next 7 months with no one. You might be thinking that I sound selfish but if you were in my shoes right now you would feel the same way. Some days I can have good days and other I just feel so sad with no one by my side to hug me and tell me everything will be alright. I cry myself to sleep most nights no one knows that, if I think about it no one really knows anything about me or what happened in that awful house, well no one except my therapist. Now these wont be like this everyday I might have happy news but where I am going to start is the beginning, and what I mean by that is what made me move out here with no one. And from there everyone who read this will know what happened to me. No this is not fiction it's the truth about my life. Now time to introduce myself. Hello I am 16 year old Sabrena Long, I used to live in Georgia but now I live in California. I have brownish red hair with green eyes, I am 5'3 and maybe a 110 pounds cant really say that for sure I have no clue right now, lastly I am in 11th grade yay I might actually get to start my real life soon. Now I will say this I am moving back to Georgia in June but the loneliness will never go away and the words and scars either. So this is my story that nobody knows, but whoever reads this will know my story, again this is not fiction. So I ask you to please not judge me please and thank you. I know this isn't the good stuff but that will happen very soon trust me on that.