gay ➳ reddie ✓

27

follow me on instagram if u want,, thank you blurrf for being such a sweetheart and giving me the acc cries

- there's a lotta kissy kiss touchy touch in this so ye this is ur warning -

-- it's not smut but some of yall might want a warning idk

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Saturday. June 20, 1987. 

Stan held his head low, awkwardly walking passed everyone, trying to get to his cabin where he could escape from everything around him. He sloppily ran a hand through his hair, trying to distract himself from the tears threatening to fall.

"Ben-zonna," Stan muttered under his breathe, approaching his cabin, glad Bill hadn't followed him. He wasn't angry with Bill. He was angry at himself for getting caught up in his feelings. Most of all, he was confused. Confused as to why Bill had to kiss Beverly. He thought Bill was having fun, that they were having fun figuring out their feelings. Together.

He closed the door behind him, wishing it had a lock as he threw himself on his bed. He allowed himself to cry for only a moment. He was forced to compose himself when the door opened, suddenly. He didn't want to look but he couldn't ignore Bill's presence. It would only worsen the situation.

"Stan," Bill spoke quietly, a solemn look on his face. "Are y-you okay?"

"No." Stan's face was burried in his pillow so his words were muffled. Bill nodded, knowing the answer before he even asked.

"A-are you mad at m-me?"

Stan shook his head, face still pointed downward as he laid on his stomach. Bill sat down on his own bed, watching him.

"O-okay." Bill said. A few minutes went by and neither of them spoke. Bill wanted to walk over and rub Stan's back. He wanted to play with the boy's hair or kiss his cheeks to make the tears go away. Something. Anything.

Stan finally looked up from the pillow, eyes tired and cheeks pink. Bill stared at him, hoping he'd speak. Stan looked sad. It made Bill want to cry.

"I'm confused." Stan mumbled. Bill nodded.

"I don't know why you would do that. I-" Stan's lips trembled and he hated himself for overreacting. It's not like he and Bill were dating. "I-I thought you liked me."

"I d-do." Bill frowned, looking at the floor.

"I just, I don't understand. I don't understand why you had to kiss her." Stan sniffled. "I know you were trying to help. You're the best person I know. I just hated watching you do it."

Bill sighed, picking at the old fabric on his blanket. "I h-had to do something. They w-were hurting our friends."

Stan looked away, feeling guilty for being so upset. "I know it's bad. I can't help but wish you hadn't. I'm so selfish I didn't even want you kissing her for her own good."

"You were jea-jealous." Bill said.

"Yeah," Stan pursed his lips. "I guess I don't really know what we're allowed to do. I don't know how I'm allowed to feel. I mean, I thought we didn't want to kiss other people."

"I-I don't." Bill wished he could take it back. He wishes he would've used his words before. Spare Stan any of the pain.

"Are you sure? I mean, I don't blame you. This whole thing has been so confusing. I-It's okay if you wanted to try kissing a girl." Stan's own voice deceived him when it cracked at the last word. "I get it, it's hard."