The Cold Star |Seventeen FF |

51: Hae

You couldn't help but be overwhelmed. You were tired. You didn't know how to react, and everything in a mess. Your emotions were out of control.

"I should have died from the accident." You stated with a dead tone.

"Kim Haeun!" Uncle Jaehun warned, he immediately took a breath and raked his hair to the back in frustration.

"You need to rest. You're not thinking in a sane mind right now, maybe the effect of the medication."

"You don't understand."You said shaking your head as you created some distance between Jaehun.

"What do you mean? I understand what you're going through - "

He was interrupted by your bitter laugh. It was a cold laugh, a hollow one.

Suddenly the door barge opened, the timing was not on your side when the boys made a visit. You wanted people to think that you were okay, you wanted to ensure yourself that you were fine, but at the moment there was nothing slipped into your mind.

By hearing that noisy voices , you knew all of them were here.

"Haeun -" Seungkwan exclaimed but he cut his word immediately when he sensed the tense atmosphere.

When they saw your serious and miserable state, the giddy feeling on news which you had waken up slowly changed into a heartbroken feeling.

You didn't bother turning around to face the boys as you kept continue your words.

"Don't you say that because you don't. That's just who I am. Broken. Cold. Faint with just a slap? Guess my body couldn't be immune with his abuse. I just act like it was, to keep breathing. I can't be fixed that's what you fail to understand."

You paused and looked at Jaehun, tears glistening in your eyes. Hoshi went wide and he made his way to your bed.

"What's wrong? W-what are you talking about?" Hoshi blinked his eyes in confusion.

"I'm tired. I'll ruin your life and I can't let it happen to you." You added in whisper, ignoring everyone's eyes on you.

Stop beating out of me just for your anger! Wasn't it enough killing my mom?

You remembered screaming those words so loud and furiously that you throat had burned like it on fire, that your vein felt like it almost popped out. Only to get a humourless laugh in return and a hit on the face, hard. Your lips bleed.

Why don't you keep your mouth shut? Or I will make it worse.

A rush of heat started to go up in your body causing a flushed face of you visible in other's eyes. Without warning, you felt an intense fear, increased heart rate, and sobbing hard as the past memories were the significant triggers.

Panic attack -

You felt a mild throbbing headache and your breath shortened as if there was something blocking your breathing system. Beads of sweat formed on your forehead.

"Kim Haeun, look at me. Are you okay?" Jaehun's voice sounded hysterical, almost as if he was scared something's wrong with you.