Me Myself and My Thoughts

26.

I thought that one day there would come a point in time where I wouldn't think about you, and maybe the time will still come but it's been five years and I've still got your name on the back of my tongue. Yet it no longer reminds me of sweet mint chocolate ice cream, it burns like the the first cup of hot chocolate during winter. I can't stop the words that flow out of my mouth when I think of you, and it's not for the fact that I still want you. I can't help but to think about how when I left I still loved you just as much as I did the day when you first said those words to me. I'm happy now, happier than I could have ever been with you yet my mind wanders to what could have happened to us. Would we have repeated the same pattern over and over again? Would you have really changed this time? Would we have our perfect little family that we'd always planned? We thought that we were invincible, that as long as we loved each other things would be okay. God we were so wrong. Our happiness was built on the notion that we had our entire lives ahead on us, that we had all the time in the world and things would never change. I tried so hard to make things work but it was so hard to stand by and watch you pretend not to love me. So I left you while you had convinced yourself that you didn't love me anymore and when you realized you did it was too late.