Heretic of El Amarna

Chapter 19: Nefertiti

I stared out of the gardens, wondering what to do about it all. I liked Thutmose, but what I felt for Amenhotep was much deeper.

Only, I wasn’t free to marry Amenhotep, so shouldn’t I be happy with Thutmose if I could? Happiness didn’t have to depend on circumstances. I could be happy if I could just move on past what I couldn’t have.

But my heart whispered that I would never be happy with Thutmose. Not the way I’d be happy with Amenhotep.

I sighed, staring at the stars in silence, reveling in the absence of other company.

Thutmose had told me that my confinement was over. He had revoked the guards that had followed me everywhere, restoring hy previous fluidity of movement in the palace. However, he had made me promise I would always take someone with me if I left the palace.

So it was that I happened to see the movement at the end of the garden. I frowned, standing up and walking away from the stone bench I’d been seated upon.

Trailing past the koi pond in silence, I hardly noticed the gleam of moonlight on the silver surface of the pond as I kept my focus on the shadow before me.

I crept up on them, quiet in my bare feet. In a second, the moon lit the person’s face, and my eyes widened, a gasp escaping me before I could stop it.

The shadowed figure whirled to face me, allowing the moon to fall onto his face completely.

It was Amenhotep.

***

I stared at him, mouth open. “Wh…What are you doing out here?” I stammered.

He stared back, seeming equally astonished. “I… I was… I…”

That was when my gaze fell upon the bag he was carrying and the hole underneath the wall of the garden. My eyes narrowed. “Are you leaving?” I hissed.

He looked down, the moonlight showing me his blush. “Yes.”

I glared at him. “You cannot just walk out and leave!” I snapped.

He frowned. “Why not?”

“Because… You… You just cannot!” I kept my voice low and soft to avoid attracting attention.

As much as I did not want him to leave, I also did not want to stop him from leaving. I wanted him to be happy, but I did not believe that leaving was the way for him to be happy, so I was going to do everything I could to convince him not to leave.

However, should he decide to leave despite my objections, I was going with him, I decided. I could not let him go walking off without someone with him.

“Amenhotep, stay…” I pleaded, eyes dark with sadness.

He shook his head. “I am not staying. There is nothing here for me, Nefertiti.”

I glared at him, on the brink of tears. “Yes, there is! You cannot abandon me.” I hissed, eyes filling with tears.

“I am not abandoning anyone. I am leaving so that you can move on. You need to be happy with Thutmose, and you cannot do that if you are feeling torn and guilty over being with him.” He murmured.

I stared down at the ground. “I do not want to move on…” I whispered, knowing that it was the truth. “If you leave, I am going as well.”

His eyes widened, and he huffed, running his fingers through his hair. “No. You must stay here and live out your destiny as the future Great Wife of Thutmose.”