Little Shy Ariel (ft. Harry Styles)

Chapter 38 - Goodbye Lake

Chapter 38 - Goodbye, Lake

I stare at the lake as I take a deep breath. It's my last day here and I can't believe summer is almost over. It's been two weeks since Niall and Harry left. Mare also left and it took me two weeks to set everything ready to leave. I talked to all my sisters and I'll be moving out with Mary. She's exhilarated that I'm going to London to live with her and pursue my career as singer slash songwriter. She wanted me to be there last week. She is ready to introduce me to everyone she knows.

But I've talked to Niall. Of course I told him. I even sent Mare a letter telling her and apologising. I don't think it'll make a difference, but I had to write her. To tell her I'm sorry for overreacting, for stabbing her in the back when all she did was help me. I'm still devastated that I ruined that friendship by rushing to conclusions , but I've learnt from that experience. If I make a new friend, I'll make sure to always let them explain what really happened.

And that's exactly why I've texted Niall to tell him what I'm doing. He is also super happy and he says he knows exactly to whom he can introduce me. So I have a meeting next week. I'm really nervous, but I think I'll be okay.

I also told Clara that I want to see a specialist for my disorder. I think I'll need medication to control my anxiety if I really want to do this, and for that I'llrequire an expert's help. This time I want to be helped, I'll talk to this person. Clara booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist she knows who's really good. I trust Clara for this, she's a nurse, after all.

I know I'll go through many changes, but I'm willing to face them all to accomplish what I want. I won't be alone. I have my family... I have friends. And I hope I'll make new ones.

During all this time I've tried not to think of Harry. It's the only thing I can't get over. I miss him and I can't believe I let him go without clearing all this up. I could tell Niall to give me Harry's number and try to meet with him in London, but then... then I get scared.

Maybe I can send him a letter, too. Like I did with Mare. Maybe he can forgive me and we can be friends. But I don't want to be friends with Harry. That's the problem. I love him and being friends with him is not what my heart wants. The idea of only being friends, like I'm friends with Niall, only hurts. I know whatever we had is broken and there's no way to fix it.

Mare's last homework was to be a grownup. A grownup faces the consequences of her acts, and that's what I'm doing. I made a huge mistake with Harry and I ruined things between us. I have to accept that. I have to move on and make sure I don't even make the same mistake. Of course, if I ever fall for another boy again. I think Harry's memory will always haunt me.

"I'll miss this place," I whisper softly. A sound that the winds carries away, taking it to the water itself.

I'll miss it very much, but I'll come back every chance I get. Of that I'm sure. I can't be kept apart from this place for too long. And if I make it, if I actually make it as a singer, I'll make sure of helping Dad so he won't have to rent this place. So it'll be only for his use.

"I'm ready," I state in another whisper and turn around, but when I do I almost get a heart attack.

There, a few steps away from me, standing with a concerned expression, almost fearful, with his hands in his pockets, is Harry.

"Harry?" I ask dumbfounded. I try to blink away the confusion, but it's not really working. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Niall," he answers sounding unsure, an awkward smile on his lips. "He told me 'Are you just gonna let her walk away like I did? Didn't you learn anything from me?'" Harry chuckles humourlessly. "And for many days I've been thinking of what to do. He gave me your number," he carries on and I keep staring at him blankly. "But I couldn't just call you. To be honest I was scared that you would just hang up on me the moment I told you it was me."