Little Shy Ariel (ft. Harry Styles)

Chapter 12 - Decision

Chapter 12 - Decision

I stare blankly at Mare, still confused and really taken aback with her proposition. It’s still not clear for me all the implications of her idea. Does she expect that just with my voice she’ll get famous? What does she exactly have in mind? I do want her help, though, and living from my music would be amazing without having to face or deal with people. It would be easy, not perfect, and I could do it… but I’m still confused.

“Wh-what do you exactly… mean?” I ask blinking quickly, looking at her for a brief seconds before I focus on the piano keys again.

Mare stands up, excitement filling her body, I presume. She sounds full or energy when she speaks. “Yes, it’s perfect, don’t you see? I help you with your confidence. I don’t know if we can cure you, but I’ll do something.”

I can’t help it, I cringe at the word ‘cure’. I know I have a clinical problem, but saying ‘cure’ makes it sound so bad, like an illness that is killing me when it’s only a condition and I can perfectly live with it. I’ve done it all my life.

“In exchange, you help me. We’re in a retreat centre for celebrities! We might as well use it in our advantage!” Mare continues, unaware of how her word selection makes me feel. “You can sing when no one is looking at you, now imagine you can do that but I’m the one in front of everyone. It’s your talent, your music, but I deal with the part you don’t want but I do. Don’t you see? It’s perfect! The perfect solution for both of us.”

“You-you want me to sing and you lip-sync?” I ask, still confused. “You wanna be famous but not with your voice?”

“Oh, Ariel,” Mare says sitting again, next to me and placing her hand above mine. “I can’t sing as well as you and let’s be honest, how many artist can really sing out there? There are many that only use auto-tune and they are mega famous and people actually think they are talented.”

I blink and try to ignore her words, but I know it’s true. There are artists that can’t really sing, their voices are completely manipulated, yet they still have records and concerts all around the world, which is so unfair for those who can really sing.

“I wouldn’t be the first to do this and everyone knows it.”

I look at the other side, away from her, knowing she’s right. It wouldn’t be the first time someone tries to fool the whole world. It’s just that… I never thought I could be involved with that.

“Don’t you want the world to hear you?” Mare asks squeezing my hand before I pull back.

Of course I want people to hear me, but me, not my voice and think it’s someone else’s. But can I do that? Even with Mar’s help, even with maybe another and better therapist… but facing a whole crowd? Can I actually do that? I want to share my music, it’s all I’ve ever wanted; but Mare is right, I can’t do that on my own.

Mare is actually offering me a solution, a way to show the world what I can do without having to face my biggest fear, without having to step out of my comfort zone. If this work, I wouldn’t have to meet fans, because let’s be honest, we all know that would be disastrous. I wouldn’t have to deal with interviews. I wouldn’t even have to deal with media at all. I would just be the voice, I would live out of what I can do and I would leave all the public part to Mare, someone who wants that.

It sounds like a perfect solution to help us both, but it doesn’t make me excited and happy because this is not what I dreamt all my life, this is not how I envisioned my future, hiding while other told the people it was her voice.